Parenting Series: Raising Kids is Not So Easy

May 29, 2013 | Encouragement, Parenting

MP900227797Raising kids is not so easy. Teaching kids to respect each other is a lifelong process.  How siblings treat each other is crucial to the health of a family and a child’s individual development.  It’s tempting to ignore it when siblings hurt one another or don’t get along.

But you can’t. 

There’s not an easy answer to the problem because children have unique differences.  They go through ages and stages.  They each have their own perspective on things.

Sometimes I want to just relish in the happy family times and ignore the underlying things that brew. Doing this would be negligent. Isaac {Genesis 25} didn’t correctly deal with his sons Jacob and Esau and that didn’t turn out so well.  Teaching children how to navigate through sibling relationships is a skill they can use in other relationships in life.  

Parenting is difficult. There are times, even as an experienced counselor, I sit on my child’s bed thinking, “I don’t know how to help this situation.”  I’m thankful prayer is an ever-present resource as a parent. I can’t always help a situation or change another person’s perspective or heart, but God can.

This week has been one of “those” weeks.  A week full of family highs and lows.  Do you have weeks like that?  Weeks where you glow in the goodness of family life and then want to pull your hair out at the reality of it all – sibling rivalry, fighting, teenage melt-downs and hormones. 

At least that’s how some family days roll at our house.

As a professional writer, speaker, educator and counselor, I interact heavily in social media.  Sometimes I internally rollMP900382671 my eyes at easy “how-to” articles on parenting even though SEO data says it’s the best way to get readers. I’ve probably written some of those because a social media expert told me to.

I apologize.

There’s nothing “easy” about parenting.  

That statement won’t get me invited on the Today Show.  But I’m still raising my kids. Some days, it’s exhausting. 

How about you?  How do you impact your child’s relationships with their siblings?  What are the  stresses you experience and things you’ve found helpful?  I’d love to hear your thoughts today because I hope I’m not alone.

Father, give each of us wisdom for the journey of parenting.  Give us the words and counsel as we minister to our families. Amen.


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  1. mamanne

    I knew parenting would be hard – but nothing really prepares you for HOW hard! I love being a mom, but yikes! And when moms of young kids talk about how hard that part is, I just grin inwardly and think “wait until they’re teenagers!”

  2. Jedidja

    No, you’re not allone 🙂 My response confirms mothers worldwide struggle with certain things in parenting.

    I have sic children. Two often grumble about each other. Boy 14 hates the whistling of girl 12. Girl has ADHD and never stops jumping, whistling, singing, moving. Only when she sleep. Poor brother … There may be days full of sorrow. But God gives psalms in dark hours. And He helps us. We have a Helper. We are never alone. Never.

    Your blog is a recognition. Thank you.

    • Brenda L. Yoder

      Thank you so much for your recognition and encouragement! Thank you for the reminder that we have a Helper because sometimes I feel so ill-equipped. Thank you also for your honestly. It’s a blessing today.

  3. Janette's Sage

    It is very hard. This morning I was praying for myself and other mothers I know right now going through the feelings that we did a horrible job. The truth is we did what we knew to do and the rest is still up to the Lord. Only the Lord can soft our children’s hearts…we can’t. When I watch the enemy beat up my fellow friends and tell them how horrible they did because their adult child is now doing………….., it hurts my heart. It is so easy to say how to do it and then again that in and of itself says we think we can……….the truth is only God can.
    Thanks for a great piece.

    • Brenda L. Yoder

      Thank you Janette. I honor your words because I respect you so much. So much truth that only God can soften the hearts of our children. I’m thankful for other moms who can come alongside and say, “You did the best” because really all of it is up to God and the choices our children make. Thank you for the encouragement.

  4. Ingrid Lochamire

    You nailed it, Brenda. There’s nothing easy about parenting, though the rewards are great. Lessons learned in navigating those times of conflict are the ones our kids will take into their adult relationships. As their mom, I could not walk through those rough times without God’s strength and wisdom. Thank you for your transparency and for sharing your heart.

    • Brenda L. Yoder

      Thank you Ingrid. It’s encouraging that other moms walk these steps, ones who are seasoned like yourself. Thank you.

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