Blog

Reflections

Thoughts on faith, life, simplicity, and the courage it takes to live uncomplicated.

Say Yes, Figure It Out Later

The keynote speaker was stuck at an airport. The organizers turned to me. I said yes — and figured out the rest later. That's not recklessness. That's resourcefulness. And it's exactly how God showed up that Saturday morning.

How Chapstick, Lotion, and God Met Me on My Son’s Wedding Day

On her son’s wedding day, a simple text—asking for Chapstick—becomes a sacred goodbye. A boy mom reflects on faith, release, and the tender lasts of motherhood.

When God Redesigns Your Life

Just when you think things are planned, God redesigns his plans for you.

Showing Up with Just Your Guitar: When God Strips Life Down to What Matters

An honest reflection on choosing authenticity over algorithms, inspired by an Eric Church concert. When God strips life down to basics, will we show up with just our ‘guitar’ anyway?

My Daily Prayer: The Legacy of Kindness Left Twenty-Five Years Ago Today

Discover the legacy of kindness my mother-in-law lived daily through “My Daily Prayer.” A simple life of faith, love, and quiet influence.

The Midlife Mom: Practical Tips for Vulnerable Spaces

Vulnerable is a word I'm familiar with as a midlife mom. The last few years, everything I was sure about feels like it's slipping away, like tequila that makes that girl's clothes fall off. Only it's not my clothes slipping off, it's the security, and comfort I've...

Why I Wrote Uncomplicated

Many things converged, showing me the hunger and need for Uncomplicated: Simple Secrets for a Compelling Life.

The Legacy of Being Real

When you die, what will your legacy be? Like the Velveteen rabbit, a legacy of being real creates and uncomplicated life that impacts others.

20 Truths about Your Kids Growing Up

No matter how young or old your kids are, we moms secretly have expectations. Here are 20 truths about your kids growing up, especially during the fledging years.

The Power of Resourcefulness: How to Solve Problems Like Our Grandparents Did

The power of resourcefulness doesn’t have to be lost in past generations. It’s an essential skill that can transform today’s problems.

Finding Peace and Healing this Christmas

When Christmas brings more pain than peace, where do you turn? Isaiah 57:19 gave me hope. Here’s hope for your heart too.

Working in Public Schools on Election Day

Thoughts as an educator working in public schools on election day.

Light in the Shadows: Coping With Grief

In today's world, grief has become an unwelcome companion for many. It's not just about loss through death anymore; it's a natural response to the significant changes and uncertainties we face daily.

10 Tips for the Mom Whose Kids are Fledging the Nest

Ten tips from seasoned mom and author of Fledge: Launching Your Kids Without Losing Your Mind to moms in the season of releasing teens and young adults.

Crossing the Bridge to a Strong Empty Nest

It’s a transitional journey for parents, from launching your kids to landing with a strong, secure empty nest.

Finding Home

Home is a safe place where we belong. Here are tips to finding the home where you can be yourself and how God created you.

9 Truths about Love You Must Understand

Love is elusive, almost incomprehensible in today’s culture. It doesn’t have to be. Here are nine truths about love everyone needs to know.

5 Ways to Build Equanimity and Self-Control

Learn five easy ways to develop equanimity and self-control, important skills our generation needs. Join us!

10 Tips to Beautify and Uncomplicate Your Life

Ten simple tips to beautify your life and make it simpler and you happier. Read for the easy ways to bring delight and comfort in 2023.

Timeless Advice for Raising Grateful Kids

Learn timeless methods for raising grateful kids through the power of gratitude, contentment and appreciation.

Gen X, We Need You

As AI and screens overtake natural processes, the world needs Gen X to model the skills and values that humans still need. Now is our time.

5 Ways to Create Contentment in 2024

Focusing on small, consistent actions can cultivate contentment, peace, and fulfillment this year. Let’s learn five easy practices.

Lord, Heal Me

Read how a simple prayer, “Lord heal me,” created powerful results.

Teaching Kids about Life and Death

We had newborn fainting goats born at Picket Fence Farm during the week of Thanksgiving. Baby goats are some of the cutest animals. They are not wobbly and scrawny like calves and are just the right size to be deemed adorable. It's not uncommon for goats to have...

Redeeming Fall and the Season of Tears

Fall can be a hard season. God surprised me with an encounter that turned grief into joy and redeemed a season I’d rather avoid.

Wrinkles as Your Wardrobe

There is wisdom in wrinkles. When I was in my mid-thirties, the first wrinkles appeared around my mouth. I noticed them more after waxing the hair above my lips, which were more visible because of the tan I pursued in the summer. How complicated it is to be beautiful,...

Preparing Your Child to Fledge

Whether you realize it or not, simple moments are really significant as you prepare your child to fledge to independence and prepare your heart for an emptying nest.

Caught Between Tired and Tears

Parenting in midlife is the best of times and the worst of times. You live between opposite extremes, often caught between tired and tears. Here’s what it’s like in the fledging season of life.

End of School Year Helps for Moms Episode 16

The end of the school year and start of summer means life is going to get crazy...CRAZIER!! Do you ever wonder how you're going to make it?? Parenting is a really hard job. Juggling multiple schedules, emotions, and everything else pull at you from all sides and leave...

When God Asks You to Dig a Ditch

God wants to meet our needs. He invites us to participate by digging ditches of prayer. Learn how to join God in a simple prayer practice.

How an Heirloom Quilt Stitched Me Together

Not without design does God make the music of our lives. John Ruskin Saver of Things On December 31, 2022, I finished up the last stitch on an heirloom quilt I've worked on since April 2020 during the pandemic shutdown. It is for our first grandchild. The heirloom...

5 Tips to Battle Cultural Assimilation

How much do you participate in culture assimilation as a Christian?

The First Frost and Why Beauty and Sadness Coexist

Beauty and sadness can coexist, and sometimes we need a sabbatical to find out what we need to thrive in seasons of loss.

Guarding A Child’s Heart on Halloween {and Beyond}

Is celebrating Halloween okay? What about the creepy decorations? Here are 10 principles to consider for God’s call to guard your child’s heart.

When Your World Crashes In

We were at a movie theater when a phone call changed the trajectory of our evening. One of those phone calls when the world seems to crash in around you, and the only choice you have at the moment is to sink or swim. Have you received those phone calls, the doctor's...

10 Ways Parents Sin by Idolizing Children

Do you put your kids, their success, and desires above God? God wants us to love Him more than our kids. These questions assess whom you worship more.

When Did Things Get Complicated? 4 Ways to Simply Your Life

Life is complicated, but it doesn’t have to be. Learn four immediate strategies to simply your life without changing your lifestyle.

5 Tips for Busy Moms in the Fledging Years

Life is exhausting raising kids, so how do you manage during the years that are the busiest? 5 tips for how to manage the crazy before all your kids fledge.

5 Reasons to Talk about Hard Stuff with Your Kids

Kids rarely tell you they need to talk about hard stuff. And you might be afraid to so do, if you’re honest. Here are 5 reasons why talking is essential.

The Kindness Wall

A lesson on kindness from school kids teaches all of us how to be better humans.

Giving Yourself Grace

A young mom, I laid sobbing on our couch in our basement. It was my reaction to a comment I received that day which validated feelings of unworthiness and unacceptability. I laid there, loathing myself. It triggered feelings I had as a teenager with an eating disorder...

The Changing Faces of Community

Community means different things to me. I live in the community in which I was raised, one where everyone knows your name. There’s safety and familiarity in knowing those around you, in others knowing where you’ve been and to whom you belong. I experienced community...

When You’ll Be Fine is the Wrong Answer

“You’ll be fine” is usually not a good answer to tell someone when they share their fear, struggle, or anxiety. Here’s why.

A Dirty Kitchen Floor

I was on my hands and knees scrubbing her floor. I had just finished washing dishes that had been piled up for days. The placed reeked as a I moved dishes around so I could clean the sink in order to get the job done. 'This isn't what they taught in grad school,' I...

The Secret to Your Child’s Greatest School Year

School starts soon for thousands of students. As a school counselor and former teacher, I love the excitement of the first day. Faces are filled with excitement, anticipation, but also anxiety. Uncertainty is real for kids. Parents often ask me, 'How can I build my...

Jesus with Skin On

Through the years, community has meant different things to me. I live in the community in which I was raised. There’s safety and familiarity in knowing those around you, in others knowing where you’ve been and to whom you belong. I experienced community when my child...

Journeying through the Teen Years S2E3

Are you in the trenches of parenting irritable adolescents? Do you ever wonder 'Who is this and where is my kid?' In this episode, Brenda speaks about the psychological and physiological changes happening during the adolescent years. This and a few other factors can...

Handling Mom Pain on Mother’s Day

Mother's Day can be hard amidst the flowers and cards. A day that's supposed to be filled with happiness and joy may be full of grief, sadness, and loss. I'm going to call this unique hurt Mom Pain. Mom pain isn't widely discussed. Facebook or Instagram statuses...

The New Midlife Mom Podcast

Join Amelia Rhodes and I on the new Midlife Moms Podcast!

6 Principles When People Fail You

People will fail you, but God never will. I said this to a friend when she sought my advice. I feared I would fail her because I knew my limitations, and she had already been betrayed and disappointment by so many people. I knew if she sought God over me, He wouldn't...

7 Steps to Deal with Anger

Anger is an emotion I've struggled with over my lifetime. As a child, I got angry when I didn't feel heard, when I felt no one took me seriously, or when my feelings weren't validated. As the youngest, the way I got my voice heard was when I yelled or said outrageous...

5 Things to Know About Your Needs

Women meet the needs of others, yet we seldom feel okay stating our needs. Here are 5 truths about why knowing your needs are important.

3 Strategies for Grief and Loss

Grief is all around us. These three strategies are helpful for all kinds of grief.

This Year is a Gift: Part 2 Interview with Christy Lynne Wood

'Brokenness is a gift. This year is a gift. I think God is waking us up. I think he's calling us. I think he is allowing us to recognize we cannot do it by ourselves. We need a Savior.' - Christy Lynne Wood Hello friends, hope you are having a great week! Today, we...

Hope in Hard Times

https://youtu.be/H6gDq5G2ZhE Where do you find your hope? I find it only in Jesus Christ, the Son of God. Hope is not in government, leaders, or even those we love. Hope is a person, just as love is a person. His name is Jesus. Find out more if you do not know Jesus...

Finding Freedom in the Real God: Interview with Christy Lynne Wood part 1

'You can find the real God in the real Bible, when you read it for yourself. Not what someone else has told you about it or not what you think might be there. You can find the real God.' - Christy Lynne Wood Hello friends! We hope that you enjoyed your Thanksgiving...

Good Grief. Realistic Life Care for Front Line Workers

Teachers are exhausted as they start Thanksgiving vacation. Here’s how to manage a holiday when self care isn’t enough. Realistic holiday life care for educators and front line workers.

Sustaining Faith Through Big Disappointment Interview Part 2

Learn how to sustain your faith through big disappointments from a great interview with Andrea Miller.

Overcoming Life’s Big Disappointments with Andrea Miller

In my interview with Andrew Miller, she shares practical tips for overcoming disappointments but also how to strengthen your faith when hope seems lost.

Presidential Leadership Begins at Home

“As the leader goes, so goes the nation”-- a familiar saying I was reminded of while teaching a junior high Sunday School class. We were discussing good leadership during a lesson on Moses. I was honored to be among a wise group of kids. The compiled list of “What...

5 Hacks for Life Care, Not Self Care

Self care doesn’t help exhaustion. Learn 5 hacks for life care that make the difference for your never-ending feeling of tired.

Why Your Shouldn’t Baby Your Kids

It’s hard for parents to let go of kids when it’s time for them to leave or move out. Here’s how to avoid babying your kids.

How to Draw Close to God S3E7

Ingrid and Brenda provide principles for how to draw close to God, both sharing from different faith perspectives.

Best Tips for Family Life S3E6

Ingrid and Brenda talk today about their top three tips for family life. Join them On the Front Porch for this important episode!

Why Women Need Other Women S3E5

Women are designed for relationships! Join Ingrid and Brenda as they talk about how to mentor other women in your season of life in this episode of On the Front Porch podcast series.

Mom Fear, Grit, and How to Stop Whining

Mom fear is a term I labeled in a recent broadcast in the Fledge Parent Facebook Forum. The enemy of God doesn't want us talking about it. The video was accidentally deleted after it went live, and my phone overheated as I tried to record a recap. (Here's the short...

The Three Betty’s S3E4

Has there been a woman in your life who has invested in you or mentored you, “coming alongside” in a way that left a lasting impact? Brenda and Ingrid continue their summer conversations On the Front Porch by talking about women who have influenced them, both formally...

Keys to Healthy Friendships S3E3

God created us for community and the smaller space of friendship. This week On The Front Porch, Brenda and Ingrid talk about friendship. Their own friendship began in their local community almost ten years ago! In this episode, Ingrid and Brenda talk about important...

A Time to Speak and a Time to Go

A time to be silent, and a time to speak. Ecclesiastes 3:7 When words are many, sin is close by. Those who restrain their words are wise, or so Proverbs 10:19 says. I haven't had many words these days. There's a time to be silent. But words from a student of mine have...

The Power of Engaging in Your Community S3E2

Brenda has invited her good friend Ingrid to join her in a summer podcast series for conversations On the Front Porch. Between the two of them, they have over 100 years of lifetime wisdom of life, faith, and family, beyond the storybook image. Join Brenda and Ingrid...

On The Front Porch: New Podcast Series S3E1

We have exciting news! The Life Beyond the Picket Fence podcast is starting a new series titled 'On the Front Porch' for season three. Brenda is excited to bring Ingrid Lochamire on the podcast with her where they''ll share insights, wisdom, and authentic...

10 Lessons from the Great Pause

The pandemic, what I’ve called “The Great Pause,” has taught me a lot. Here are 10 lessons I’ve learned during the COVID 29 crisis.

Where I’m Finding My News

How are you doing today, friends? Perhaps like you, I've been searching news apps and social media for positive outlooks for the future. Last night, I told my husband how irritable I was after listening to the discouraging reports, one after another. 'Just don't...

Practical Hope in Hard Times

10 practical tips for families and faith in unprecedented times of COVID 19 pandemic and stay at home mandates.

Series: Valuing Motherhood Interview with Ingrid Lochamire (S2E14)

In this episode and the last, Brenda shares Part Two of her interview with Ingrid Lochamire, a woman whose journey has powerful lessons from which to learn. Today’s episode is powerful for parents helping their kids through crisis. You won’t want to miss it!

Series: Valuing Motherhood Interview with Ingrid Lochamire (S2 E13)

For the next two episodes, Brenda interviews Ingrid Lochamire, a woman whose journey has powerful lessons of hope and wisdom in adverse circumstances!

Sense and Sensibility in Midst of Panic

Are you trying to make decisions about how to respond to the COVID-19 panic? How much worry is appropriate? Here are tips to use common sense and problem solving in panic.

Series: Valuing Motherhood Part 2 (S2 E12)

The world says you can be good enough as a mom. But God sees motherhood much differently. This podcast will transform your view of your daily routine.

Series: Valuing Motherhood Pt. 1 (S2 E11)

Do you struggle seeing your value as a mom? In this 6 part series, Brenda Yoder shares how we can see the role the way God does, valuing motherhood.

Christian Wisdom: 10 Things I’m Learning

Wisdom is the result of listening to and learning from God. Here are ten bits of Christian wisdom I’m learning from a hard season.

Simply Love Your Spouse S2 E10

Valentine's Day is right around the corner and we get to talk about love! Not the fairy tale kind where all your dreams come true, but the kind that takes hard work, intentionality, and selflessness. If you are single or dating, please don't let the title of the...

20 Things I’m Taking into 2020

2019 was one of the most significant years of my life. In this series, I’m sharing 20 things I learned that I’m making part of my daily life.

Crossing Barriers Season 2 Episode 9

In the last episode, Brenda talked about what she has gleaned from her travels to India and other parts of the world. She shared that experiencing other cultures and meeting different people teaches us that though we are different, we all crave to be loved and...

Lessons from India Season 2 Episode 8

Breaking down barriers. That is what is happening in Chiluvuru, India inside and outside the walls of the Menno Clinic. There, they provide medical, vision, and dental care to the surrounding community with a very specific goal in mind: to meet people of all faiths...

Living BEYOND the Storybook Image Season 2 Episode 7

Welcome, friends, to a brand new year! To some, a new year means setting resolutions to better oneself in hopes of attaining some form of perfection. Even in the Christian community, we have lists and ideas of what we could be doing better or more of in order to...

5 Lessons From A Hard Year

2019 was a hard year. By December, I told my husband I found joy. Find out what changed and the 5 lessons I learned about faith and God.

Why I Don’t Hate Christmas Anymore

The Ricki Lake Show called me because I hated Christmas. Things have changed. Here’s why I don’t hate Christmas anymore and perhaps you won’t either.

Overcome Holiday Stress Season 2 Episode 6

Brenda talks about how the holidays can bring cheer for some while bringing holiday stress for others. Learn four tips to handle it.

The Empty Place this Christmas

How do you manage grief and loss at Christmas? Author and pastor John Ashley shares three tips for making it through the holidays when you miss a loved one who’s died.

Controlling Your Emotions Season 2 Episode 5

Depression and anxiety often increase during the holidays. Kids need their parents to see their emotions and help them regulate when they feel overloaded.

Restoring Relationships During the Holidays

The holidays is a time for restoring relationships. Here are insights on how to approach relationships with steps for healing and harmony.

Social Media Discernment: Season 2 Episode 4

Today’s technology is a useful, but even adults need discernment about guarding our spiritual/emotional/physical well being.

The Life beyond the Picket Fence Podcast with Tricia Goyer part 2

Grab your coffee and enjoy part 2 of the Tricia Goyer interview! Join Brenda as she interviews Tricia Goyer on her new book The Grumble Free Year (release date 11/05/19) in which Tricia and her husband sought out a solution to their grumbling household. They and...

The Life beyond the Picket Fence Podcast with Tricia Goyer part 1

We are back for Season 2 of the Life Beyond the Picket Fence podcast! We pray this podcast encourages, but also challenges you to grow in your faith, life, and family. Growing is synonymous with struggle and we as humans don't really lean towards that word or enjoy...

Brothers and Sisters, We Need Each Other

In the Name of our Lord Jesus Christ, we deserve to be treated equally, with respect, according to Christ’s character, and cultural standards of 2019.

5 Killers of Love That Bring Out The Worst in You

Humans need connection and love, but we can be killers of love. Find out five key behaviors that sabotage our relationships

10 Lessons from a Desert Dweller

When you don’t feel or hear from God, you feel like you’re in a desert, especially if you’re emotionally or spiritually tired. Patience and commitment is hard. Here are 10 things I’ve learned living in a dry, dormant season.

The Gift of Children’s Books

My son just sent me a wish-list of children’s books for his birthday. It’s not a list for the local elementary school book fair he used to give me when he was in grade school. It’s for his 22nd birthday He’s a junior in college studying to be an elementary and special...

3 Helps for Parents starting a New School Year Episode 22

A new school year is almost here! How can you best equip your child, whether starting preschool or college, to be strong and courageous in this world of adversity? Whether you send your kids to public school, private school, or homeschool, it can be terrifying as a...

The Last Day

No one prepares you for the last day your child is home before they leave for college. But God’s been preparing them, and you, all along.

3 Strategies to Live Out Your Faith Episode 21

Do you ever wonder, 'How do you really do this Christian thing? What does it really look like to walk out your faith?' If you have, then we are so glad you're here! These types of questions have come from new Christians as well as seasoned Christians and are good to...

Three Lessons from a Really Weird Summer

It's been a weird summer. Too much rain. Too much heat. It's July 19th already and other than the heat and rain, it's been work as usual. Where has the summer gone? School starts soon for us. I barely have time to write in between speaking, counseling, and the few...

3 Simple, Powerful Principles for Marriage Episode 20

Do you struggle to balance being the good wife when it feels like you have nothing left for your husband after caring for kids and others all day long? It’s a common feeling for women with kids. In this episode, Brenda tackles these marriage issues with three powerful principles.

6 Principles to Reclaim Joy

Joy seems elusive when we focus on our immediate feelings. Brenda shares biblical wisdom for reclaiming joy with six practical steps.

The Discipline of Biblical Mindfulness and Soul Searching Episode 19

What is biblical mindfulness? In this episode, learn how to fill your mind with the truth of God’s Word and the fruit of the Holy Spirit rather than emptying your mind through other disciplines.

When the Right Thing Turns Out Wrong

Have you done the right thing but the outcome wasn’t what you hoped for? Here are four principles to manage life when you do what’s right but things turn out wrong.

What Kids Need in a Fragile Culture Episode 18

Have you ever felt overwhelmed or ill-equipped in raising kids in today's culture? There is no question that today's culture is hostile, broken, and fragile. And the thought of sending your kids, whether they are 2, 12, or 22 years old can be enough to pull you into a...

Raising Kids is Exhausting and Here’s Why Episode 17

No matter what season of raising kids you are in, chances are you are exhausted. The struggle is real. As moms, we are uniquely attached to our children's emotional and physical well being in which we are consistently aware of throughout the parenting journey. It is a...

Why Moms Cry at Graduation Time

May is a hard time for moms of seniors. Graduation is a rite of passage for your student, but also for you. Here’s why little things like a form letter brings you to tears.

How Mothers and Daughters Mend Relationships Episode 15

'Some of the most healing words a mother or daughter can say to one another are, 'I am sorry. It was my fault. I was wrong. Will you forgive me.' Daniels and McIntosh, Mended We are excited to interview Blythe Daniels and Helen McIntosh on their new book 'Mended:...

When Mother’s Day is Not a Happy Day

Mother’s Day can be hard. Learn practical tools for dealing with mom pain this Mother’s Day from real Moms in the Scripture.

Emotional Regulation for Moms Episode 14

Mom, do you struggle with emotional regulation? Listen to learn how important your emotional regulation is for helping your kids with their meltdowns.

Lessons from the Classroom of Parenting

I was asked what I’d do differently as a parent and also what I’m glad I did. Here’s the short list on parenting as we enter the month of necessary endings.

With Christ, You are Enough Episode 13

We are inundated with messages each day that we are not enough. Do you struggle with this? If you grew up hearing about the Proverbs 31 Woman, you don't need to hear much more. She is on top of her game and puts us all to shame. As we measure ourselves up against our...

6 Principles for Parenting with Healthy Boundaries Episode 12

'We need to know how to navigate the harsh realities we may encounter with our kids. And we need to change our expectations and dispel the myth of the picture-perfect family.' -Brenda Yoder, Fledge: Launching Your Kids Without Losing Your Mind It is so easy to think...

5 Principles for Life’s Transitions

Life’s transitions don’t have definitive start and ending points. If you’re in a transitional period, we’ve got 5 key principles for surviving.

Interview with Sarah Forgrave, Prayers of Hope for Caregivers Episode 11

Are you a caregiver or have one in your life? In this episode, we’re interviewing author Sarah Forgrave about her new book for caregivers.

6 Truths about God During Life’s Hard Moments by Sarah Forgrave

Being a caregiver is hard. You give and give, get who gives to you? Sarah Forgrave’s new book is just for caregivers, and this post is a great preview.

Help for Grumpy, Irritated Moms part 2 Episode 10

Life as a mom is full of unexpected detours, bumps, and roadblocks. Juggling family and the day to day can be taxing and leave you feeling frustrated and irritable. We've all been there in one season or another. Overwhelmed by expectations set by ourselves and others....

5 Ways Scripture Changes Your Life

Scripture is living, active, and life changing. Modern Christianity tells you it’s irrelevant. Let’s look at 5 ways Scripture changes you.

Help for Grumpy, Irritated Moms part 1 Episode 9

Are you a mom struggling with irritation? Do you feel stressed out and at the breaking point while trying to do it all? Whether you're a new mom or a seasoned mom, we have all fallen into the trap of trying to be superwoman to everyone around us. We want to be that...

Combating Loneliness Episode 8

Is loneliness a real struggle for you? You're not alone. How can so many of us feel disconnected and lonely when we live in a world that's always connected? Social media has totally changed the way we interact and connect with each other. But then why is loneliness a...

The Cult of Insecurity Episode 7

Even as Christians, we can be consumed with the search for our identity, our worth, and a quick fix to our insecurities. Today, we are surrounded by a wealth of information promising to help us find ourselves, our destinies, and our value. We all struggle to answer...

Performance vs Relational Parenting Episode 6

Brenda discusses the powerful principle of relationship parenting from her book Fledge: Launching Your Kids Without Losing Your Mind.

Fledge’s Birthday and A New Birthday Surprise

Fledge turns One on March 13! It's been an incredible year as Fledge has flown it's wings and the message has reached thousands of moms. Just this week, I received an email saying, 'I just finished your book, Fledge, and wanted to say thank you for writing this! You...

Let’s Talk about Emotional Health Episode 5

Emotions are healthy when expressed in a healthy manner, but they can also reek havoc, too. Let’s talk about the importance of emotional health.

5 Things to Know about Your Needs Episode 4

Knowing your needs and voicing your needs are healthy, yet most women don’t think about their needs. In this podcast, we’ll talk about 5 essential things women need to know about their needs.

How to Hold On to What’s Most Important

Busyness, stress, and irritability chase mom and women of all ages. Here are six secret principles for holding on to what’s most important.

5 Ways to Defend your Marriage and Family Episode 3

Listen in as Brenda shares five practical ways that you can become a warrior and guardian in your home through the power of Jesus Christ.

Airing your Dirty Laundry Episode 2

Today we're going to be talking about the freedom you feel in airing dirty laundry. If you're wondering what that means, join me! One Sunday after coming home from vacation, I did the unthinkable! I did laundry and hung it up on the clothesline. Well, we live in a...

9 Tips for Parents of Teens on Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day is a great opportunity for parents to talk about hard stuff, and it’s also a hard day for some kids. Here are 8 tips for parents of teens.

Why You Need Color of Compromise {& A Giveaway}

A question La’Shon asked exposes the truth about racism that JeMar Tisby reveals in his powerful book, “Color of Compromise.” Read about it and win a copy.

Where is God in the Dark Night of the Soul

Life gives you images of what it should be like. Heroines live happily ever. Kids are protected from growing up. Instagram mirrors a perfectly poised life. We seek a pain free life, evidenced by the comfort we seek when fear grips us. Though you naturally stay away...

6 Questions for Raising Girls in a Digital World

I smiled, listening to my friend talk about her tween daughter and her daughter’s friend. The girls were entertaining themselves by taking selfies and filming videos on their phone. Inside, my heart sank at the new playtimes of selfies, videos, Instagram, and Youtube...

4 Tips to Reimagine If-Only’s

I looked around the room thinking how much solace I'd find if only I lived there. I was in the parlor of a colonial home in the mountains of Northern Virginia. I've been to Virginia often in the recent years visiting my daughter who went to college there. The...

The Gift of God’s Unchanging Character

How can you celebrate Christmas when it’s the worst year ever? Find out how the gift of God’s unchanging character brings a new perspective to the holidays.

4 Gifts Your Kids Won’t Tell You They Want

Christmas is stressful finding just the right present for your teen or tween. While I love that my older kids send me links to online gifts I can purchase from my living room with coffee in hand, added stress creeps in…… Is there something everyone else is getting...

Coming Home When Holidays are Stressful

The concept of home evokes feelings and expectations. Reframing your image of home makes the difference between holiday anxiety and a healthier perspective.

The Power of Showing Up

When insecurities plague you, avoidance is tempting. But three principles equip you to show up and face your doubts, faking it with the best of them.

Why Your Kids Need Boundaries

Kids need boundaries around them to navigate a world that’s increasingly hostile, unsafe, and confusing for kids. It’s our job as parents to put the fence posts in place.

5 Ways to Protect and Defend Your Marriage and Family

Christian marriages and families are bombarded by spiritual attack, but the enemy isn’t political. Learn 5 practical ways for to defend and protect your family.

Back to School Toolkit

Parents need a parenting toolkit to help their kids navigate the school year. Here are critical resources and practical ways to help your kids.

How to Reflect Christ is a Post-Christian Culture

Legalism or freedom? How do Christians, especially Christian parents, discern morals and grey areas in a culture where Christian values are swiftly changing?

Made Like Martha Interview with Katie Reid

There’s a Martha in all of us, but those list makers are not second rate to Mary. Learn about Katie Reid’s new book Made by Martha and enter to win a copy!

7 Truths When Your Child is a Missionary

My family and I recently returned from a mission trip in Monterrey, Mexico, where our daughter, Jenna, is a full time missionary. She went on a mission trip her junior year in high school and spent Christmas Day at an orphanage in Mexico. When I read her senior...

7 Principles of Powerful Prayer

Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. 1 Thessalonians 5:17 We walked through the children's home on a prayer walk, being instructed on how to pray at the various locations: the entrance of the home, the playground, the library, the toy room, and the rooms for the...

Sacred and Holy Moments

Certain moments are sacred and holy, and the depth of the experience cannot be expressed. But the Holy Spirit speaks for us when we can’t on our own.

Parenting a Ministry Instead of a Child

I met Bekah Shaffer at a speaking conference last year. As I learned more of her journey, I asked her to write a post for you. Her words are important. I learn a lot from her commitment to God. I'd love to hear what you learn from her story: From Bekah. My husband and...

10 Ways You Idolize Your Kids

It’s sneaky and subtle, but it’s easy to idolize your children, putting them in a position above God. Here are ten identifiers that indicate you may worship and enable your kids.

49 Lessons from 49 Years

This week I turn 50. Ministry is full right now, so I'll be concise about 49 significant things I've learned in 49 years of life. Here you go. 49 Life Lessons Life is short. As Tim McGraw says, 'Life like you were dying.' It's what I taught my history students. Life...

Stepping Out in Faith

Believing the unseen is one of the hardest things a Christian can do. It’s called faith and it is more of a head game than a heart game. Here’s what it looks like to step out in faith.

The Problem with Raising Good Kids {A Give Away}

Words are important. Saying you’re raising “good kids” has multilayered connotations. Join author Melanie Mock in exploring the problem with good kids and enter a drawing for her new book, “Worthy: Finding Yourself in a World Expecting Someone Else.”

Parenting and Struggle by Kate Motaung (A Giveaway)

I'm excited to introduce you to Kate Motaung and share a giveaway of her new book 'A Place to Land.' It's an amazing memoir that will resonate with you. Here's a parenting connection she made with principles from Fledge: Launching Your Kids Without Losing Your Mind....

The Art of Giving Yourself Grace

A young mom, I laid sobbing on our couch in our basement. It was my reaction to a comment I received that day. A comment which validated feelings of unworthiness and unacceptability. I laid there, loathing myself. “Why did you make me this way?” I asked God. His...

Mom You’re Too Much and (A Give Away)

'Mom, you're too much' my teenager said on Saturday. The youngest boy is cursed with living with a fledging mom who works from home and counsels others. That makes for a lot of words stuffed in midlife woman who's hormonal and a natural emotional extrovert. Similar to...

An Honest Note from A Fledge Mom

A note to readers from a mom in the season of Fledge and how the book has ministered to her in unexpected ways.

Every Mourning and a Hope for Grief

I’m excited to host a giveaway of Donna Fagerstorm’s new book devotional, “Every Mourning.” If you’ve experienced grief of any kind–read, be encouraged, and enter the drawing by commenting on the post by February 4!

Surrendering Our Children’s Souls

#FiveMinuteFriday’s word Surrender sums up the ways we are exposing our children’s emotional, physical, mental, social, sexual, and spiritual health.

Let Jesus be the Keeper of Your Soul

I remember telling God I couldn't let go of that inner part. It was the part of me I'd been protecting for twenty-five years, since I first realized my soul needed protecting at age 14. For me, an eating disorder, body image, and food protected my emotions,...

Don’t Box God In

I’m excited to host a guest post and giveaway of Kathy Collard Miller’s new book, Pure Hearted. Kathy’s real, practical principles will encourage you. Her book about mom anger was a lifeline to me as a young parent. Read, enter, and win!

Finding Joy in the Little Things {A Give Away}

Fledging your kids, whether they are 5, 25, or 50, means making the most of small moments. I'm excited for Kim Chaffin to share a story from her new book Simply Blessed and to host a give away of a copy of it! Comment at the end of the story about a small moment...

Why Worship is not about Baby Jesus

Jesus is Emmanuel, God with us. How does this change my daily life? An experience in India challenges me about reverencing the living God.

A Song of Home for the Holidays {and a Giveaway}

Home is much more than four walls. Here are your definitions of home along with a give away of a great fiction novel about brokenness, families, and home.

7 Parent Tips for Unanswered Prayer

A reader asked how to talk to your child about unanswered prayer. Here are 7 truths to consider about big subjects with not so easy answers.

The Magic Snow Globe - A Giveaway!

I'm hosting a giveaway of Catie's book! Comment below to enter! I'll keep the giveaway open through December 6! When Dreams Come True: The Magic Snow Globe by Catie Cordero I've dreamed of publishing a book since I was 10. I'm not joking. I started writing short...

14 Lessons from 14 Days in India

Though I travel a lot as a speaker, have been on mission trips, have a daughter living in Mexico, and have traveled to my family's village in Sicily, I was anxious traveling half-way around the world to Chiluvuru, India. Lots of travel time allowed me to reflect on 14...

An Inspiring Mess {A Give Away!}

Jess Plus the Mess is sharing a Give Away of her book Sunlight Burning at Midnight. If you need encouragement as a mom in hard circumstances, you want her story.

5 Principles for Busy Seasons

The holidays are CRAZY busy, but isn’t life? Instead of looking to the next season to slow you down, embrace five life principles for better balance.

5 Truths When Life is Hard

Is your situation going from bad to worse? Consider 5 truths about life, God, and a perspective you need when the chips are down.

10 Ways You Idolize Your Kids More than God

We love our kids so much and want to make them happy. But do we place them higher than God? Are you guilty of idolizing your kids?

5 Tips When Teens Have Anxiety

Teens experience stress and anxiety in a multilayered fashion, yet they won’t tell you. Here 5 tips to help the teen in your life.

5 Lessons for Managing Crazy Busyness

It’s the time of year when all heck breaks loose in a lot of houses. School. Sports. Laundry everywhere. Can’t keep up? If this is you, here are 5 lessons worth considering.

5 Truths about Living in the Presence of I Am

In 2017, it’s hard to believe God is the same one who showed himself to Moses. Life circumstances lie to you about who God is. But He’s still the I AM. Here are 5 truths about living in His Presence in hard times.

5 Truths for Discouragement

The weight of discouragement can make your body physically ache. Instead of discouragement overwhelming you, here are 5 truths when the burden is heavy, especially when you’re carrying the load for someone else.

When Life Isn’t What You Thought {A Giveaway!}

Becky Graham was excited to be a mom, with all the happy mom dreams many women have. Then they got some news that shattered their life. Her new book, Faithful: An Unexpected Journey to Motherhood is featured with a giveaway!

3 Principles for Putting Your Baby in the Basket

'When she could hide him no longer, she got a papyrus basket for him and coated it with tar and pitch. Then she placed the child in the reeds along the bank of the Nile.' Exodus 2:3 It was time for Jochebed to remove baby Moses from her home. Otherwise, he would be...

Why You Need to Hold On While Letting Go this School Year

I walked into Mrs. Martin's classroom with my firstborn. My daughter wore a rust plaid skirt with a felt name tag pinned to her shirt. Mrs. Martin was gracious and smiled at me as I let go of my daughter's hand and watched her find her place in the sea of other...

5 Reasons to Protect Your Mind

Deception is slick and sneaky. Here are 5 reasons it’s essential for Christians to protect your mind as much as you do other areas of health and safety.

The Freedom of Airing Dirty Laundry

With today’s technology, it’s easy to do laundry without effort. You put clothes in a machine, turn a dial, and press a button. Going to my child’s bedroom requires more work than that. It’s a simple process. One Sunday after returning home from a family vacation, I...

Mama’s Growing Up

My kids are growing up. And so am I–most days.

Being Led by God’s Voice-A Giveaway!

Hearing God’s isn’t as hard as it seems. We need to listen, but our hearing is muddied by busyness. Jayne Walters shares insights in a guest post and there’s a giveaway of her new book, Led.

The Hidden Grief on Mother’s Day

As much as Mother’s Day is a celebration, for many the holiday brings sadness, pain, and loss. But Hallmark rarely produces cards expressing the difficult dynamic of Mother’s Day. Let me explain. Some of you experience grief on Mother’s Day as you remember your mom...

Bad Marriages and A Mother’s Advice

There's an epidemic in my personal and professional world of what I'd call bad marriages. And they all are within the Church. As a therapist/friend/mentor, I'm grieved at the lack of support for marriages. There are many resources on how to make marriages great--and...

Sunlight Burning At Midnight {GiveAway}

I'm excited to host a give away of Jess Ronne's incredible memoir, Sunlight Burning at Midnight as a Mother's Day give away. If you are a mom, especially a special needs mom or mom who's experienced incredible odds, you'll want to get Jess' book. Her story is for...

Dear Critical Parent: 15 Things You Need to Know

I overheard you the other day in that public place. My heart sank because I was familiar with The words. The tone. The frustration. The pressure. Because I was you. And I'm calling you out because I needed someone to reach out to me when I was harsh with my...

Marriage and The Mediterranean Love Plan

I've had the privilege to review Stephen and Misty Arterburn's new book, The Mediterranean Love Plan: 7 Secrets to Life-Long Passion in Marriage. It's been personal and is impacting my marriage. Here's why. The seven relationship principles in The Mediterranean Love...

3 Reasons to Start the Parent Dialogue

Marco sat in my office looking at the floor, mustering up courage to share what was bothering him. He was a sixth grade boy who eventually told me he saw inappropriate photos on his mom's phone that she sent to her boyfriend. Tears streamed down his face. Mom yelled...

Hope for Parents of Middle Schoolers

“To Him who is able to do immeasurable more than we can ask or imagine according to His power that is at work within us.” Ephesians 3:20 This verse has been my mainstay in recent weeks. I’m praying it, declaring it, believing it. I wish I believed in the power of God...

The Most Precious Gift You Already Have

I end the day with thanks, realizing how often I forget to praise God for what is. In the gap between praying about worry and crisis, we fail to simply give thanks. For the simple things. [Tweet 'In the gap between praying about worry and crisis, we fail to simply...

Are You a Control Girl? GiveAway of New Book

Are you a control girl? Shannon Popkin’s new book walks through the lives of seven controlling women in the Bible and what we can learn from the.

Parenting Series: What I Learned from My Mother-In-Law

I've revisited the life of my mother-in-law with many of you this week. One person who knew her commented, 'Lois not only made a positive impact on her family but on her church and the community as well.' That's an understatement. She quietly impacted whoever she...

Live Full Walk Free GiveAway

Hey Friends! I've been off the radar for a few weeks finalizing the manuscript for my new book on parenting during the full house to empty nest years. I hope to be back on the blog with fresh topics soon! But I'm excited to share a giveaway with YOU! Cindy Bultema is...

5 Ways Christians Should Respond to the New Cultural War

Are you starting your week with a range of emotions after a weekend of polarizing political, cultural, and spiritual events? Have you looked at your Facebook feed and felt personally attacked or shocked by the variety of opinions from family, friends, and...

Why You Need To Let Go And Be Thankful

There are times God's goodness is simple. And real. And overwhelming. This morning I woke up in my bed at a place called home. A place I take for granted. 'Thank God if your kids are in your beds each night' I told the women I spoke to this weekend at a retreat. A...

Bigger, More, and Better?

All flesh is like grass, the glory of man like the flowers, both of which wither and fall away. But the word of the Lord endures forever. 1 Peter 1:24-25 This verse defines 2017, doesn't it? Each year seems to increasingly be about investing in earthly things,...

The Gift You Wouldn’t Expect

The holidays don’t change despite our personal and national lives that are in constant flux. Do you fear change? Here’s the Gift that doesn’t change when everything else does.

Pray A to Z for Your Community & Giveaway

I first wrote about bullying for the Pray A to Z project when it was a blog series of my author friend Amelia Rhodes. Amelia was burdened by things happening in her community and was prompted to pray. She was prompted to do even more because she was challenged in her...

5 Hacks for a Peaceful Holiday

I used to hate the holidays. Here’s why, and how I make it more peaceful.

20 Survival Tips for Parenting Independence

Each stage of parenting has growing pains. When you raise your kids to be independent and autonomous, nothing quite prepares you for the transition.

4 Tips Because Children Are Watching

Children are watching how we respond to this election and how we treat others. It’s sobering to think about what we’re telling them.

When You Feel Helpless After the Election

Do you feel helpless with the response to the election? Do you wonder how to respond not only to the outcome, but the culture that’s responding on both sides. Here’s where to look.

5 Lessons from Big Life Interruptions

Life sends you reeling when big interruptions happen–crisis, death, or general chaos. How do you handle it in an already busy life?

5 Lessons Learned about Life from Death

Only in the face of death do you realize what’s most important about life. Here are 5 lessons I’m learning during the last days of life.

50 Things I’m Glad I Did Raising Boys

My oldest son is leaving for his senior year in college and Boy #2 is starting his first year at the university. It’s challenge raising a man in today's culture. The standards of his world are different than they were for his dad and granddads. But certain...

Instagram Mom, Please Stop

I came across this beautiful photo (of which I've cropped) on my Instagram feed last night. It's beautiful. Everything is propped and proportioned so meticulously. The colors are beautiful and the caption is great. But it broke my heart. Actually, the beautiful baby...

Confessions of an Overcomer

'This place would have been a mess for me when I was in college,' I told my son and his dad after eating in his college cafeteria. It's one of these free range cafeterias most universities have now. Every food imaginable is available. You can eat anything you want, as...

Middle Schoolers and Social Media

Social media and the internet are part of every child’s world. It’s common for middle schoolers to have access to harmful online content by the touch of a finger during any part of the day. Each year middle school students I work with have problems with peers over...

Releasing Boys to Be Men

It's been a full week. To the naked eye it seems like things are normal but as I listened to my heart I realized I am holding on to my emotional strings tightly, trying to hold things together. Big transitions are happening at our house this summer and I can't keep...

4 Steps for Life Transitions

My family has experienced a lot of change lately. Kids moving home, kids moving away, new relationships, new jobs, new roles. Life in transition. Transitions occur between what was, and what’s going to be. It’s a natural part of change, but it feels weird, restless,...

5 Lessons When Your Child Answers God’s Call

In a few days, my husband and I will be driving to Monterrey, Mexico, with my daughter. She's serving there for at least a year as a full time missionary. Those of who who have been following the blog for a while or who have heard my testimony know how much God has...

Pokemon Go: Things Christian Parents Should Consider

If you've been on social media or watched the news at all this week, you know about the new game Pokemon Go. It's a virtual reality game on smart phones designed to get gamers out of the house and physically moving. By downloading the app, you use the location devices...

5 Ways to Help Your Middle Schooler - Parenting by Brenda Yoder

School is coming up soon, whether you are ready or not. If you have an upcoming middle schooler, both you and your child naturally have fears as a new school year starts. Common fears include: Starting at a new middle school where many elementary schools come...

5 Tips When You Feel Miserably Insecure

I walked across the shore of Lake Michigan. It was beautiful. As I approached a curve in the coastline, the only way to avoid water was to walk on broken cement and rocks hugging the landscape. I was alone, with a torn ACL in one knee, and was insecure about my...

4 Ways to Deal With Hurt

Hurt is something we’ve all experienced. My first memory of being physically hurt was falling and cutting my lip on a metal toolbox when I was three. I still have the scar. My first memory of being emotionally hurt was when, as the youngest, an older sibling called me...

5 Helps When You Live in the Land of Littles

I'm getting a Little today. If you're not sure what that is, other than the strange TV characters with tails, then you're not raising Littles. If you're a hip G-ma, then you know what these are. They are little people. Children. Kids. Kiddos. Those humans that are...

Why Love is a Dirty Word to Me

I shy away from the moral and cultural religious wars of today. I cautiously disengage from new age, occultic, and secular beliefs that have infiltrated the church, and those that are also on the legalistic, dogmatic side. There's so much rhetoric, it's easier at...

5 Lessons When Faith Becomes Real

Big changes are happening at the Yoder home. Another graduate is on our doorstep. Our firstborn is leaving as a full time missionary in August. And I'm leaving my secure, paid job as a school counselor to devote more time to writing, speaking, advocating, and...

Five Bible Verses to Teach Your Kids Practical Money Skills

Proverbs 22:6 (NIV) Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it. The longer you wait to start teaching your children to be...

I Have No Friends and Other Mom Grief

I desire friendship was what I wrote in my journal. The tears flowed and I felt stupid. I had mom grief. What a selfish thing to write, I thought. I have friends. I mean, I had friends. Now, I have relationships. Work relationships, Facebook and Instagram...

5 Principles for Family Blessings

I used to cringe at the word 'Blessing.' It brought memories of Jim Bakker at PTL telling me, a young Christian, that God wanted to bless me and give me a life as glamorous as his PTL compound. Which later was busted and closed down for embezzlement. He went to jail...

The Most Important Type of Housecleaning

Parents, what you do matters. While your kids sidetrack you with whines, cries, and temper tantrums, what you do while training them each day is important. Eternally important. “Oh, that their hearts would be inclined to fear me and keep all my commands always, so...

Making Easter Your Everyday

Sharing a video blog post about making Easter your everyday. See the Easter video here. Celebrate that Jesus is risen--as He has conquered death and sin in your life if you know Him as your Lord and Savior. He is risen--He is risen indeed! Click photo below for...

16 Lessons I’ve Learned as a Parent

My son turned sixteen and he's getting his license. He's got the truck. It's called the Kentmobile. A big milestone in a child's life--sixteen. As I reflect on my sixteen-year-old, here are sixteen lessons I’ve learned being a mom. You have to what is best for your...

5 Reasons Family Devotions are Important

What's your idea of family devotions? Children quietly sitting as their father shares insight from the Bible? If that's not your reality, you're not alone. Is this more like your house--your family is barely ever home at the same time, except when everyone’s...

11 Ways to Raise Honest Kids in a Trumped Culture

The election results continue to come in. No matter what side of the political scene you're on, the game-changing nature of the political climate has most adults bewildered. Those of us parenting might wonder how to raise honest kids when we don't see those qualities...

Honesty and Envy and You

Last week, I was reminded of envy. I read about the Longaberger Basket office closing. If you don't know what that is, it's the building which houses the Longaberger company headquarters. It's shaped like a basket and is in southern Ohio. My friends and I went there...

7 Things When Elections Leave You Speechless

A week ago, a personal post I wrote went viral and appeared in The Washington Post. As a public school educator who is also a Christian, and a faith writer with social media presence, I was scared. Because being a Christian isn't popular and working as a Christian...

When Love Is Hard

It's been a week of love. But sometimes, love is hard. Not the loving-someone-who-loves-you-back kind, but the loving-someone-who-doesn’t-reciprocate kind. Loving when you’ve been wounded, you’ve forgiven, and you desire genuine restoration. But instead of release,...

Is Jesus Enough?

“And my God will meet all of your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus” Philippians 4:19 (New International Version) If it were just me and Jesus, would it be enough? I’ve been challenged by this question lately. Lately I’ve found myself getting...

When You’re THAT Loser Mom

“Brenda, are you picking the kids up?” my friend called me on the phone. I forgot I had volunteered to drive the carpool to 4-H that night--what a loser mom. And I thought I was doing great. I had muffins in the oven, was ready to put the fish in the broiler. The...

Your Great Reward in Times of Waiting

Do not be afraid. I am your shield, your very great reward. Genesis 15:1 God promised He would make Abram into a great nation. He told Abram He would be his great reward. And Abram was honest with God. 'What can you give me since....''You have given me no...

5 Truths for Discouragement

There's pain in my chest tonight. I first called it stress. Then I called it hurt. Then disappointment. Then discouragement. Then, I realized it's all of those things--the things a mother feels for her child, only a little deeper. Perhaps a lot deeper. It's an ache...

Special Words to Working Moms

A woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Proverbs 31:30b I’m often asked, “How do you do it all?” When I went from being a stay-at-home-mom to working full-time as a teacher with four growing children, it was a rude awakening. Here are some words of wisdom to...

10 Lessons Learned From Live TV

I had the privilege of interviewing on The Harvest Show about my book, Balance, Busyness and Not Doing It All last week. While I was excited to be on live TV, a million fears preceded the morning: What if I say something stupid? What if I ramble and sound like a...

5 Parenting Principles for 2016

The new year brings reflections. Those of you parenting kids of any age, here are five essential parenting principles I’ve learned make a difference in the life of a child. Lessons children learn are often things we minimize. As my children are reaching adulthood,...

The Orphan Spirit and All the King’s Orphans

This Saturday, Jan. 9, from 12-2 pm at the Red Wagon in the Davis Mercantile, Shipshewana, IN, I'll be doing another book signing of Balance, Busyness, and Not Doing It All with fellow local author Lynette Carpenter. I've heard so many good things about Lynette over...

7 Tips for Healthy Teen Friendships

My youngest, a high school Freshman, had seven of his friends stay over recently. Some of them have been friends since 2nd or 3rd grade, others since 5th or 6th. They've made it through middle school. And they respect each other. Each of my four kids have had good...

4 Things When Asking God, Where Are You?

What do you do when God feel like he’s abandoned you? Here are 4 things to do in response to emotions and despair.

5 Truths for Raising Daughters

'I am to be the only inheritance the priests have. You are to give them no possession in Israel. I am to be their possession.' Ezekiel 44:28 This verse has solidified my resolve of raising daughters in today’s culture. Leaving God as your daughter’s inheritance is the...

30 Days of Real & Why My Perspective’s Changing

In the land of busyness, I've been quiet. I haven't blogged as much, nor have I Periscoped as often. My emails aren't all answered, and my phone social media has been off. Because my perspective is changing. If I could retitle my book, it'd be 'Best, Not Next.' In...

The Military Life: Unmet Expectations

Have you ever found yourself somewhere you never thought you'd be? Found yourself living with unmet...

10 Tips for Social Media Safety

Social media is scary – your kids have access to things outside of your control with social media and technology. Kids are vulnerable to online predators and harassing behavior from peers and other adults, unless you follow strict safety rules. The most important...

Dear Friend, I’m Jealous of You

Dear Friend, I'm jealous of you. Not all the time, but this time of year especially. When I go in the stores with all of the things I want, you come to mind. You've got a bigger house with lots of rooms to decorate and have space for the cool things I'd like to have...

So, You’re Thirty-Something

So you're thirty something. It's a great place to be. You're still young, but not-so-young is on the horizon. You're more grounded than ever. But it's weird. You're not that young kid any more. You have kids of your own. And you wonder. You wonder if you're doing...

4 Principles of Spiritual Intimacy for Busy Women

On Saturday, I'll be doing a new retreat--First Things First: Creating Intimacy with God Despite a Busy Life. I'm excited about it. While balancing busyness is important, it doesn't hold the barometer on your relationship with God. Spiritual intimacy with Him has to...

Secular Christianity and My Role In It

'Be still before the Lord, all mankind, because He has roused Himself from His holy dwelling.' Zechariah 2:13 NIV It's a beautiful fall morning. Crisp temperatures, bright sunshine, and trees full of color. A reminder of God's beauty. A day you where want some spiced...

The Messy Side of Raising Godly Kids

Here's Part 2 to the post 6 Truths about Raising Godly Kids. But before I get to the formal, polished part, I'm going to share what it looks like in real life. Walked out. As I live it. To avoid real-messy-mom stuff, scroll down to #4. Those of you getting in the mess...

When You Need to Pause in the Crazy World

Blogging continues to change with new devices and ways to communicate with each other. That post from my heart remains stuck in my head because we're in the busiest month of the year. Two varsity sports, with one anticipating a state championship. A daughter traveling...

6 Truths for Raising Godly Kids

Some moments are big, but you're too busy to notice them. Big events get overlooked or under-noticed when you have multiple kids. Like getting engaged on top of a silo, graduating from middle school, going to the mission field or getting baptized. These are recent...

The Risk of Releasing Your Dream

I asked the question on social media--what areas of control do you struggle to give up? The answered varied--parenting, law, and the calendar. More than one responded with giving up dreams for God's will. I was tempted to say, 'God's dreams are greater than ours!' But...

How to Obey Your Way to Freedom

Trust and obey, for there's no other way to be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey. I sang this song to my kids when they were babies. Perhaps because it was simple to remember and fit my Soprano 2 singing range. Or perhaps because I believed it. I'm going to be...

Behind Balance, Busyness and Not Doing It All

I realized I only had two years with all of my kids at home and if something didn’t change, their childhood memories of me would be of an angry, contentious woman. That wasn’t the mom I wanted to be. No mom dreams of being a yeller. New brides don’t anticipate the...

Waiting for Heaven and A Giveaway!

The following is a guest post by author Heather Gillis. She's a new friend I met at the Speak Up Conference 2015. I've asked her to share about her beyond-the-storybook-image mom story, which is filled with hope. Comment on the story below to enter a giveaway of her...

8 Confessions of a Working Mom

I sat in my bedroom with the door locked, realizing if I walk out the door, I'd lose it. Do you ever feel that way? The morning behind the locked door reminded me of when I was a stay-at-home-mom and woke up early anticipating quiet moments to myself to straighten up...

4 Truths from the Worst Mom Ever

Every Christian should know Eve's story. Other than the crucifixion, it's the worst tragedy in Scripture. Eve and Adam were created to be in perfect fellowship with God. She blew that relationship by listening to Satan and disobeying God. The result was the curse of...

A Mother’s Story You Need To Read

I've been following a Christian blogger, Brenda Yoder, for support in parenting and life. While catching up on my email, I read her personal letter to subscribers, 'Running on Empty.' Normally I would not respond to her blog, but this time I felt led to...

5 Truths about a Mother’s Pain

I found this dollhouse at an antique market. I'd been looking for one for years because I had a metal dollhouse as a child. We found another metal house from a newer time period, in better condition. When choosing between the two, I chose this one. It doesn't look...

5 Ways to Help Siblings Survive Summer Vacation

Summer vacation can be a great time, or one of frustration and fighting with kids at home. Add one or two hormonal middle schoolers, and sibling conflict is guaranteed. How can you help the natural process of sibling rivalry during the summer months? 1. Give kids time and space apart. You don’t need a big […]

The Only Place to Find What’s Real

It's been a while since I've sat down and written something new. This week I pulled away from social media and blogging to work on things at home. Things which are real, tangible, and meaningful to those of us in our family. I've been able to sit on my porch and drink...

When the Land is Still Yours

'The land is still ours, because we have sought the Lord our God; we have sought Him and He has given us rest on every side. So they built and prospered.' 2 Chronicles 14:7b This verse jumped off the page when reading 2 Chronicles. Asa, King of Judah, was reclaiming...

6 Considerations for Raising Girls in a Digital World

An Open Letter to Middle School Parents

Dear Mom and Dad of Middle Schoolers, This summer, I’m passing the torch to you. My youngest of four graduated from middle school. A big ceremony at school, kids dressed in their first formal wear, with mom and dad cheering in the background. “We made it!” The...

Obey or Compromise?

Tucked away in 1 Kings 13 is a story you don't want to miss. It's about a man of God who warned Jeroboam, the first ungodly king of Israel. After warning the king, the Lord gave the man of God specific instructions--don't go back where I sent you, and don't eat or...

Father’s Day: I Am the Farmer’s Daughter

Today's Father's Day. I'm sharing the message my daughter wrote to her dad today. It's a reminder that parenting doesn't happen during momentous occasions, but in the tender, ordinary ones. I urge all of us to pray for and be involved in the lives of children...

16 Year Old Boy and The List

This article is reposted from one of my earlier blogging days. I just sent my 16 year old boy out the door with his 12 year old brother to get 'groceries.' 16 year old just got his license two days ago. On the list: Drive to the grocery store. Buy pop, apples and...

10 Things to Know About Parenting Girls

I was Christmas shopping for my sons at an outlet mall. I have two teen boys and a college-man coed. My store options were Adidas, Under Armour, Nike, and other jock retails. After the first round of purchasing basketball shorts and swoosh t-shirts, I was bored. I...

5 Reasons to Reclaim Quiet

Every once in a while, I pull back, escaping the chaos and busyness of life. Two or three times I've said, 'I'm going away' to my family, checking myself into a bed and breakfast overnight. This happens when I'm pulled to my limit and know I may snap if I don't have...

25 Reasons Marriage Stinks & 26 Reasons Why It’s Good

Today's my 26th anniversary. Our marriage can be defined as 'My Big Fat Greek Wedding,' only it's Italian Girl Marries Mennonite Farmboy. I was going to write eloquent thoughts, but the post '25 Reasons Why I Suck At Marriage After 25 Years' was sitting in my...

6 Ways to Equip Kids in an Artificial World

Perfect. Popular. Sexy. Flawless. These were answers to questions I asked middle school girls at a recent conference. The questions I asked included: Who does the world say you should be? Who does social media say you should be? Who do your peers say you should be?...

5 Reasons to Engage in Your Teen’s World

“You mean they’re talking this way, at age twelve?” a shocked parent asked after I told her about an inappropriate conversation in which her child was involved. Are you aware of what kids your age are talking about? From Elvis to twerking, generations of parents have...

Where Is God Calling You? - A Give Away

Seven years ago I left the profession I love. I wasn't sure what was next for me, but I knew I needed something different that would better fit our family and heal things that were broken. I read a book that summer, 'When I Lay My Isaac Down' by Carol Kent. Her story...

Some Things You Keep - Give Away

“There’s been an accident. Mom fell asleep in the garage. She’s dead.” When I heard my father say those words, I stood motionless beneath his hand that rested on my head, wondering if he was truly talking about my mom. The reality soon set in, but the grief and...

3 Responses to A Mother’s Anxiety

In the last post, we identified 'what-if's' that feed a parent's fears and anxiety. We identified three steps to manage momentary and long-term fears. 1. Stop. 2. Breathe. 3. Listen to God. You can read about the first two principles here. Let's get to the third...

The Mother’s Anxiety We All Have

When I recently asked for topics you'd like me to write about, a mother's anxiety came up. I can relate. So I'll write. ********************** Anxiety creeps in the minute you see the '+' on the pregnancy test: What if something's wrong with the baby? What if I won't...

10 Ways You Value Your Children More Than God

“You honor your sons more than me…” 1 Samuel 2:29b God’s word is complete for parenting. Even in 2015. 1 Samuel shares a principle parents of teens need to hear: Do you honor your children more than God? It’s an eye-opening question. You strive to raise good kids....

5 Tips for Organizing the Mess

When toddlers were underfoot, I longed for less messy days Then my oldest became a teenager, I had a toddler and elementary kids in between. Life got crazy. How do you keep track of the mess? Here are 5 household and lifestyle tips I’ve used to manage the...

Some Memories are Best Left Alone

This story is written by a friend who's asked to remain anonymous. She shared it upon my request. May it speak to you and give hope. I've been told that some memories are best left alone, and so it was until a question I'd been asked triggered memories I locked away....

11 Truths When Life Seems Complicated

My kid asked if we had ancestry.com. He has a genealogy project for school. I got out a stack full of books listing several generations. He traces his roots all the way to an English ship in 1700. A kid tells me she gets Ramen noodles for supper because Dad only picks...

Are You a Mess? You’re in Good Company

She had every reason to be a mess. She was one of two wives (every girl's dream). The other wife was her enemy. Scripture even says so (1 Samuel 1:7). Her rival provoked her and intentionally bullied her. Women do that sort of thing. If that wasn't bad enough, the...

5 Parenting Tips for Choosing Battles

Choose your battles well.. This would be the single piece of advice I’d give to parents of teens and tweens. As a counselor, teacher, and parent, it’s brought sanity to otherwise overwhelming circumstances. I wished I learned it earlier. Instead, I learned it the hard...

Why I Air My Dirty Laundry on Sunday

Once we returned from a family trip in the wee hours on a Sunday morning. After attending church and eating a good meal, we spent the majority of the afternoon relaxing, what we normally do on Sundays. A day of rest. A day set aside for worship. A day different from...

5 Thieves that Steal God’s Best in Raising Girls

I have a new resource for teen girls and moms of teen girls. Information on Who Do You Say I Am can be found here. Moms, our daughters pick up more that you think they would from our lives. They take their cues from us. Here are 5 thieves that steal God’s plan for...

Why Chosen Isn’t a Dirty Word

  I said the word. It was like a deep, dark, secret I was finally releasing. A gift I wanted to share, but wasn't sure how it would be received at the Bible study in my home. As children of God, we're chosen. We're pursued by the King and Creator of the universe....

Hearing the Silence

There's a quiteness in my soul tonight. The washer and dryer are spinning. College boy and the girlfriend are laughing downstairs, and there's a silent stillness of sleep. It's late for me, but a good late. A late of peace and rest. Things came to a halt this week,...

Guest Post & A Giveaway: #Live2015

It's my privilege to share a guest post from Kimberly Muench. I've recently connected with Kimberly as she's joined the writing team of 10 to 20 Parenting with me. Email me at yoderbl@gmail.com if you're interested in entering your name for her book - the...

She Brought Her Mess to God

God's word never ceases to bring new lessons. Lessons hidden in pages and lives of others from whom we can learn. I've been teaching and learning about mothers in scripture this year. Each month, other moms come to my home and we study the 'Messed Up Moms' of the...

25 Tips on 25 Years of Marriage and Parenting

This year, I celebrated my 25th wedding anniversary with my high school sweetheart. We’ve been romancing for thirty-one years this month. We’ve been through a lot, particularly in parenting, finding that parenting teens and tween are the roughest years in marriage. So...

#Live2015 Guest Post and A Giveaway

I'm excited to share Laurie Whitesel's work with you as part of the #LIVE2015 series, in addition to a giveaway of her new book, 'What's Right Here.' I'll be sending it to one of you! To enter the giveaway, just email me and I'll put your name in a...

11 Shades of the Dark Side of Revival

There's revival in northern Indiana, and a dark cloud is looming as the Holy Spirit is rising. It's a cloud the enemy is stirring, one that man and religion are embracing. In my community, churches are coming together in unity. Walls are falling down. People and...

5 Lessons about Revival from Teens

There’s something happening in Northern Indiana that’s unprecedented. Revival is happening and is transforming the youth. I live in Shipshewana, Indiana. The heart of Amish & Mennonite Country. We are a hard-working rural community, steeped in tradition, religion,...

10 Things I’ve Learned From Revival

There's revival in our area, one that's gaining national attention. 32oo people gather for a weeknight event. 52 days of prayer, community outreach, and sharing the gospel. 600 kids going into the community on a school day that's excused by public high schools. Crazy....

Why Boundaries and Teens are Essential

In the last couple of weeks, two friends disclosed how their daughters, a junior in high school and a freshman in college, have experienced various forms of teen dating violence. Verbal abuse, stalking, and controlling behavior. For one girl, the stalking and threats...

#Live2015: A Reader’s Story

I'm excited to share a reader's story of intentional living, following our theme of #Live2015 this year. Jeannine Williams is a reader of this blog in Illinois, and she emailed me this story, and I'm sharing it with her permission. Thank you, Jeannine, for your...

6 Tips To Teach Responsibility to Teens

The first article on raising kids in an age of entitlement identified that your kids “absorb” privilege because it permeates their generation. Being a role model and teaching kids your values about work, finances, and privilege rests on those of us who are parenting....

What Social Media Can’t Provide

If it were just you and Jesus, would it be enough? I’ve been asking myself this question. I’ve found myself getting side-tracked from quiet times with God. If I don’t reach for my Bible first and go to a room where I can shut a door, I easily get distracted by other...

How Your Choices Affect Your Teen

She sat in my office with tears streaming down her face. Tough girl was having a tough day. It was supposed to be her last day of 6th grade at our school because her mom was moving in with a new boyfriend. Now her mom wasn’t sure about the relationship or the move....

Finding God’s Faithfulness When The Phone Call Comes

Guest Post by Donna Bontrager for the #Live2015 series It was a sunny Saturday morning. I was doing the normal chores, laundry underway, dishwasher loaded, and on my second cup of coffee…wondering how far the boys had made it on their drive home from Florida after...

5 Tips For Raising Kids In The Age Of Entitlement

The age of entitlement’s been around for a while. As a former teacher and current counselor in public schools, I’ve observed privileged teens over the last three decades, beginning with kids raised in an American economy of plenty. Not only do modern kids receive...

4 Steps for Secure Footing When Life Is Rough

Stumbling is something I'm familiar with. Two years ago I tore my ACL and meniscus and I've had an unstable knee ever since. Even with surgery, I have to keep my leg muscles strong for a lifetime so my knee doesn't become weak. I'm more aware of places that could...

15 Things I’ve Learned From Being A Holiday Minimalist

The holidays are over. Today's the first day back to school for kids and back to work for many of us. How are you surviving the back to routine blah's? I began the 2014 Holidays as a minimalist. My goal was to simplify, scale back, say no, and rest. With a child in...

10 Reasons I’ve Chosen to Live in 2015

There's a trend among bloggers to chose a one-word theme for the upcoming year. Normally I don't do what others do because I'm a silent non-conformist. But I've been thinking about this space, wondering what's needed when you and I find our lives beyond the picket...

The Facebook Post That’s Here Instead

I was going to post this on Facebook, but it was too long and sappy post. Instead, here are thoughts from my kitchen table. There's a lot I want to say about these picture, but I've got to finish a book instead, so here are the thoughts behind the snapshots. These...

5 Truths About Being A Teenager

Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified. Do not be discouraged for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9 (NIV) Your teen years are some of the most exciting yet confusing times. Your emotions are random, intense and all over the place....

Don’t Steal The Struggle

  A quote from my upcoming book, 'Magnified: Finding God's Best in Busyness.' Do you need to God to meet you in your pain?

5 Ways Parents Can Respond To A Sexualized Culture

If you’ve heard Kim Kardashian’s name in the news recently, you know the diva bore her back and front-side for an interview in The Paper. A great role model. Not that Kim Kardashian’s a role model, but we can’t deny our teens are influenced by people and things in pop...

10 Ways To Simplify During The Holidays

Another holiday has come and gone. A good holiday. One full of gratitude, family, and thanksgiving. How was your holiday? I hope it was a day on which you could give thanks. The holiday season usually causes me angst. I like the lights of Christmas, but I don't like...

5 Principles About Acceptance & Friendship

My most recent post at Whatever Girls, a post for teen girls, and an excerpt from the ebook, 'Who Do You Say I Am?'.   People will fail you, but God never will. It’s easy to talk about accepting yourself and having confidence, but how do you really do that in...

Trust: My Lesson That God Provides

Moms, here's the real deal of parenting. Recently, I've had to literally place one of my children in my Father's hands, asking Him to provide for them because I can't. Have you been in a spot like that with one of your kids? No matter if they're toddlers, teenagers or...

The Key for Managing Holiday Busyness

As the holidays approach, I see stress everywhere. I hear it in voices of friends, colleagues and women I speak to. The pressure of holiday busyness on top of 'normal life' causes angst - at least it does for me. Does it cause stress for you, too? My thoughts...

10 Ways To Teach Sexual Integrity To Teens

Believe it or not, what our teens believe about sex and the intrinsic value of others is more important than grades, sports awards or college. Their choices in these areas define their character and future relationships. It affects their physical, emotional and mental...

A Response To Brokenness

But let all those who take refuge in you be glad; let them ever sing for joy.Spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may rejoice in you.For surely, O Lord, you bless the righteous,You surround them with your favor as with a shield. Psalm 5:...

Why Halloween Isn’t Fun And Games Anymore

When I was young, trick or treaters came to our door in my small town. I had a big orange pumpkin I took around the neighborhood getting candy. I don't have any recollection of costumes I wore other than the punk outfit I wore as an 8th grader on my last Halloween...

Small Steps In Bold Faith

There's a voice that's been nudging me. It's name is Faith. I've heard it in a message about Abraham. God called him to sacrifice his son. Abraham obeyed, having faith God would provide or raise him from the dead. Abraham obeyed and believed in the unseen. That's...

Why My Kids Don’t Do Energy Drinks

When energy drinks first came out, I decided they’d be off limits for my middle-school and elementary-age kids. They had enough energy as it was, why would you give them more? From experiences teaching and counseling teens, I see inerrant dangers when kids use...

When Humanity’s Falling Apart, He Holds It Together

Life beyond the picket fence isn't just a ministry, it's life - not the Instagram or Facebook kind, but the one you and I live that's not the storybook image. The one that leaves a hole in your heart where pain, sadness, or loss resides. Do you have a hole like...

3 Steps For Finding Wholeness

“Search me, O God, and know my heart.” Psalm 139:23 Do you ever wonder what God was thinking when gave you responsibilities? Like motherhood or leadership roles? You bring your hurts, insecurities, fears and past relationships into your roles. You bring your coping...

Shutting Out The Noise And Finding Rest

Today I sit in quiet. I've needed it, not just space away from others, but moments away from social media, TV and noise of life. A book signing, preparations for a big event for teen girls & moms in Iowa, preparing for the Balance retreat, working 25 hours a week,...

When Your Children Hurt You

There are days your children hurt you. I heard a new mom share her complete joy when her firstborn was laid on her chest. The universal moment a mom feels where hope, joy, and love comes together. New moms aren’t told how it feels when those feelings are invaded with...

10 Things I Learned From 5 Minutes Of Fame

This weekend was my first book signing. I am honored to be published in Chicken Soup For The Soul: Reboot Your Life. It was a great time. I made new friends with Glow Bookstore owner Denise Henke, saw old friends (including my elementary school principal!) and was...

Finding Value In Family Relationships

In one week, our family’s downsized. College Graduate moved to the East Coast and College Boy returned to the university. That leaves the High Schooler and Junior, the middle school boy. “Our fun little family of four” I call the rest of us. There’s a lot I like about...

Helping Your Daughter Grow Through Pain

There’s a hanging basket on my porch that’s been a challenge this summer. I can pour lots of water on it, but within minutes the water leaks through the soil. Instead of the soil being saturated, the dirt’s depleted. For soil to hold water for healthy growth, it needs...

Why You Need To Come

One day last spring, I wanted to get a journal for a friend who was going through a rough time. Wanting to shop local, I decided to stop in the new bookstore I'd noticed located on State Road 5, south of Shipshewana. I walked in and saw a spiral-bound journal with a...

When God Removes Bitterness

I learned something today. I sat in a room with forty other people and learned they weren't so different from me. We worshipped God, shared honestly with each other, and worked towards a common goal. Five years ago I would have never imagined I'd be part of a group...

When Marriage Isn’t What You Thought It’d Be

As a little girl, I dreamed of being a wife and mother. I...

The 100 Day Challenge

Finding balance is a constant challenge. Though I write and speak on balance, seasons of life bring different obstacles in achieving the balance you'd like to have. I've been frustrated the last year with things I want to do, but don't have time to do consistently, at...

Kim de Blecourt And Ukrainian Orphans

It's my pleasure to share my friend Kim de Blecourt's upcoming journey to assist Ukrainian orphans. Could you consider partnering with her? What A Cockroach Taught Me About God I pulled my only cooking pot off the counter to start dinner. That’s when I saw him. The...

Boomers, Osteens and The Lost Generation

(Congratulations to Kristine Stutsman for winning Betsy Tachella's book!) There's been a lot of talk lately about Baby Boomer Victoria Osteen's statement that worship is for self and not God. There's a lot of talk about the self-centeredness of the church. My friend,...

Seventeen Problems by Betsy Tachella

It's my privilege to share an excerpt from my friend Betsy Tachella's new book, 'Speak To Me Lord, I'm Listening.' She's also giving away a copy to a reader - comment below or send me an email and I'll put your name in the drawing. The entries will be open through...

Raising A Girl With Healthy Self Image

Notes From An Eating Disorder Survivor When I gave birth to a daughter, I was terrified. At twenty-three, I was still a girl myself, struggling with my own issues – an eating disorder, insecurities, and identity issues. If I struggled with my own body issues, how was...

The Book

Find out more about Brenda's upcoming book, Balance, Busyness and Not Doing It All - a resource from a retreat for moms of the same name. After being at the retreat, attendees ask, “Where’s the book, I want to share it with others!” and I have nothing to offer. I’m...

Interview with Cindy Bultema And A Red Hot Give-away!

I'm excited to share a new Bible Study with you by friend Cindy Bultema, a writer, speaker, bible teacher and mom. Cindy grew up in a non-Christian home with an atheist father and spent her time in unsatisfying relationships and doing drugs. It wasn’t until she...

There Goes My Life - Thoughts From A Mom At Midnight

Her brothers carried her boxes out to the car. She asked an honest question, “Is there anything else I need to know?' Her dad joked and said, “Nope, you’ll do fine.” I looked into her eyes and I saw fear behind the questions. Though she went to a university eleven...

Sometimes Being Weird Is The Best I Can Do

The summer’s gone, another school year begins. As an educator and counselor, my life revolves around summer vacations and the school calendar. And this summer was the weirdest ever. I’ll be honest. I’ve been extra irritable. I even “lost it”a few times. “Losing...

Four Lessons Learned From An Unlikely Pair

It's my privilege to share this story my daughter wrote from one of her recent trips to Hope Of Life International, Zacapa, Guatemala. Kaylee's spent seven months in the last two years in the mountains of Zacapa. I want to share the story of an everyday unsung hero of...

Raising Confident Girls & A Bible Study For Moms

I'm posting today at Whatever Girls on 5 Truths For Raising Confident Girls in Today's Culture. Don't miss this important post. Read it here. I'm having a bible study at my home this school year once a month on Mondays from 9-11. Details still being made. If child...

When You Just Want To See Jesus

It's only Tuesday. My kids started school. Robin Williams took his life. A friend buried a baby. All night I've been listening to Sandy Patti's 'We Shall Behold Him' because I was ushered into the presence of Jesus today during the funeral service of a little baby. My...

Hearing The Voices Of Freedom

It's been a long time since I've really written. From the heart. Heart writing requires time - time to reflect, time to write down what whispers in your soul. I don't know where to start - whether to write about standing in the Charleston slave market or on the...

A Place Called Home

Home. The word conjures up images in each of our minds. For some, it's a place. For others, it's a person. Home is a place where you feel rest, comfortable, at peace. It's not something bound by four walls or family origin. Consider these common statements about home,...

The Great Do-Over In Raising A Girl

I often share my testimony with women about my almost-near disastrous relationship with my only daughter. Five years ago I made hard decisions to change my lifestyle and behavior so I could salvage our relationship when she was a teen. She’s a recent college graduate...

A Road Trip And A World Tour

The Road Trip As you're reading this, I'm somewhere in Virginia on a road trip with my youngest child. It's hard to believe it's the last one - last child, last road trip, last summer to make these memories. The road trips began as a dream. When my firstborn was a...

The Best Dating Advice You’ll Ever Get

Middle school, even younger, is when kids are being asked to “date.” Is dating what it used to be? What are good rules or guidelines when asked to date?

Clothed In Christ - Guest Post Laura Smith

“What should I wear today?” So many things factor into my decision -- the weather, my mood, where I’m going or who I’m seeing today. I’ll wear certain clothes for a work out and different clothes for lunch with a friend and a totally different outfit if I’m going out...

Raising Girls When You’ve Had Issues

Last month I shared four principles as an eating disorder survivor that were instrumental in raising a daughter with a healthy self and body image. At fourteen, I was anorexic, then bulimic, and lived with an eating disorder until I was married and raising my...

Guest Post: Kim Mishler, “Bless Kim”

I'm excited to share the humor of my friend, Kim Mishler. Kim posted this on her blog, Approaching the Vintage Years, around Father's Day and I asked if I could share it with you. Kim's the mom of three children from middle school to early twenties and is a blessing...

Guest Posts, Angry Moms, and God’s Grace

I'm guest posting this week on motherhood with ministry partners at iwokeupyesterday and with Jenny Sulpizio, author of Confessions of A Wonderwoman Wannabe. First I'm sharing 'To Angry, Irritated, Frustrated Moms, You're Not Alone!' at jennysulpizio.com. Here's an...

5 Ways To Be A Dad To The Fatherless This Father’s Day

There's an epidemic in the United States that's politically incorrect to talk about. On Father's Day, I'm compelled to avoid writing another blog post about good dads. Don't get me wrong - good dads are foundational to the family, society, faith and community. But one...

And Here’s The Rest of The Story

Today my daughter's driving to Washington DC because she's leaving for Guatemala tomorrow. My son's coming home from church camp today, so last night when we all prayed together, it wasn't quite the same. She's flying out of the nation's capital during a time when...

Why God’s Word Is The Most Important

It's early Wednesday morning and I honestly don't know what day it is. I'm in the Indianapolis area speaking this week and have spoked to four groups in two days and this afternoon I'll be speaking to another. I'm kind of exhausted. But the greatest privilege I have...

19 Tips for Monitoring Social Media and Teens

Summer is filled with unsupervised time for kids. Most teens have smartphones or access to unsupervised social media, so parents have to stay on top of the technology game. This month in my column on middle schoolers at Choose Now Ministries, I tackled the social...

An Open Letter to a New Stay At Home Mom

Dear Ellen, Today will be one of the hardest days you'll face. You're leaving a job you love so you can spend more time with your children, those two sweet babies who bring you both joy and exhaustion in the same breath. Today as you pack up your classroom, close the...

Personal Boundaries With Toxic People

She sat across from me shaking. She recounted a conversation with the father of her children. Though he's never laid a hand on her, she's afraid. He's verbally abusive. She's exhausted, scared. Her life is far from the picture-perfect image she planned when they...

The Top 3 Lessons from 25 Years of Marriage

As promised, here's the first of upcoming posts on lessons learned from twenty-five years of marriage. I'm sharing the first three this week at Not Alone Mom, where I currently write by-monthly and partner with in ministry. Here are the top three lessons I've learned...

5 Tools to Help The Summer Curse of Unstructured Time

Every summer parents have mixed emotions about school ending. You’re excited to have the busyness of school over, but there’s angst in having unstructured time with kids at home. Routine is nice. Several summers I've planned routines with activities and chores for...

Raising A Daughter As An Eating Disorder Survivor

Today I'm posting a personal article in my monthly column at Whatever Girls, a ministry for moms and daughters. It's the first part of a two-part serious sharing my experience raising a daughter as an eating disorder survivor. Read the full post here at Whatever Girls...

5 Reasons to Take Time To Live

It's my writing day. It's 11:25 and I have deadlines I should meet. It's been a stressful and emotional week in many ways. This weekend, I'm turning off my computer and taking time to live. Here are five reasons why: There are only a few people who are most important...

Arriving at Twenty Five Years Of Marriage

Today I'm married twenty-five years. It's a significant milestone for sure, but in usual Yoder fashion, we aren't making a big deal of it. Mr. Yoder is either playing church softball tonight with two of our teen boys or with me at the Verizon store. I'm exhausted from...

Athena Moberg-A Military Mom’s Story {Part 2}

It's my privilege to introduce you to my dear friend, Athena Moberg, of Maui, Hawaii. She is one of the most remarkable women I know - I'm glad to call her friend, and I'm excited to speak at her ALOHA Conference In September. I've asked her to share her perspective...

Athena Moberg-A Military Mom’s Story {Part 1}

It's my privilege to introduce you to my dear friend, Athena Moberg, of Maui, Hawaii. She is one of the most remarkable women I know - I'm glad to call her friend, and I'm excited to speak at her Aloha Conference In September. I've asked her to share her perspective...

Why I’m Still Confused by Mother’s Day: My Journey Toward Forgiveness

My birth mother would have turned 80 next week. I wasn't adopted, so referring to the woman who gave birth to me when she was 18 as simply “my birth mother” may seem odd. But to the end of her life, nearly 3 ½ years ago, it seldom felt right to call her “Mom”. Most of...

How To Be Intentional With Kids During Summer Vacation

Summer is just around the corner and life can be even busier during summer vacation. How do you maintain quality family time when schedules change and kid’s lives can be even busier? Here are some things I’ve learned in parenting during the busy seasons with school...

When It’s Time To Change Expectations

I should write some inspiring word that's meticulously crafted. I'm speaking at two retreats tomorrow and I should probably have those five great points that make a winning blog post. But I can't. There's so much on my heart I'd betray myself and you if I did. I find...

Writing About The Hard Stuff By Laura L. Smith

I'm excited to be hosting several guest posts over the next several months - author, writers and bloggers who have things to share beyond the picture perfect image. You'll find their posts under the 'About' tab. Also, I'm guest posting with Ingrid Lochamire today...

Insecurity: The Secret Most Moms Hide

“I don’t need you to envy me, I just need you to be proud of me.” The words poured onto the screen as she typed them to her mom. At forty-something, she felt like a little girl again, revisiting her life-long quest for the words, “I’m proud of you.” Can you identify?...

Stand Still and Watch the Lord Rescue You Today - Laura Kurk

I was a shy, overly sensitive girl who grew up in a family of logical, science-loving, strong Christians. My mom’s background was in microbiology. My dad was a dentist. My brother, always the investigator, became a neurosurgeon at the birthplace of neurosurgery. Along...

How to Grow Older Gracefully

Easter weekend is about endings and beginnings. It's about new life, living in resurrection power, leaving death behind and walking in the fullness of God's grace. Every Easter we talk about the empty tomb. The challenge comes in living in the 'in between.' I mean,...

Got Balance Series - Defining Priorities

The recent 'Got Balance'retreat tackled issues moms struggle with trying to balance the never-ending responsibilities of being a wife, mom, and woman. Every time I do the retreat, women ask for more - more encouragement, more practical ways to balance things, more...

What A Little Rejoicing Can Do - A Challenge

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again, rejoice! (Phil 4:4) It's easy to rejoice when things are going well. It's hard to rejoice when things are going wrong. How many times when I awake, my conversation with Jesus is moaning and groaning, 'Lord, please do...

The Mother-Daughter Relationship - Whatever Girls

I'm excited to be posting my first article today with The Whatever Girl ministry of Erin Bishop, a ministry focused on mothers and daughters being intentional. It's timely today as I prepare for my daughter's return from Guatemala in two days. I'll be taking her to a...

The Angry-Irritated Mom and Why She Feels Alone

“How dare he act that way” I thought as I left my mother-in-law’s house. I was embarrassed at the outburst my toddler was having. “No, no, I don’t want to go home!” my eighteen-month old screamed as I picked him up to take him home. His little legs were still kicking...

Being Intentional In Busyness

May my God supply all of your needs according to your glorious riches in Christ Jesus.' Phil 4:19 It's ironic the busiest week our family's had in a long time is the week I spoke on 'Balance, Busyness and Not Doing It All.' Whether it's God's sense of humor or attacks...

Coaching & Consulting

As a counselor, educator, parent and professional, Brenda's expertise is consulting and coaching on a variety of topics.

Four Lessons I’ve Learned to Share With Moms

I've recently spoken at and will speak at two conferences specifically ministering to moms. The first conference was the Arise Conference with the Not aLone Mom ministry team and second is the 'Got Balance?' retreat next Saturday in my hometown. Part of the content...

Healing and Hope of A Spring Thaw

The sun is beautiful today, reflecting it's glory off the snow-covered ground that's been our view for the last three months. For most of the cold-belt, it's been the winter of all winters. Over 100 inches of snow in our area. The winter that'll never end. Despite the...

Do You Need Balance? I Really, Really Do

You have to practice what you preach, so the saying goes. So I've been practicing what I preach - that's why I've been absent from the blog the last two weeks. Three weeks from today, I'll be teaching on Balance, Busyness and Not Doing It All. Personal balance...

10 Ways to Break The Single Stigma in The Church

A reader asked if I'd address the issue of singles in the church and how God's people can be more inclusive. Valentine's Day is a great time to talk about the unwritten rules of church life and the messages we tell our each other about marriage, singleness and...

Lori Borgman Guest Post: Listen

I am sometimes guilty of listening with one ear. Someone is talking and I try to steal a glance at the mail on the counter. Someone is telling a long story and I look like I’m listening, but I’m really thinking about what to make for dinner. Chicken? No we just had...

Jill Hart - Creating Life Change: When What You’re Doing Isn’t Working

Jill Hart is a writer, speaker and coach, showing others how to follow the calling God has placed on their lives. She is the author of the new devotional book, Do Life Different. I'm excited to offer her book as a give away at the upcoming retreat for moms on March 22...

Balance, Busyness, and Really Tired Moms

Today I'm making fifteen sandwiches and lunch bags for my favorite sports team this season, and it's not for a Superbowl party. I'm a basketball mom. I'm a tennis mom, theater mom, a choir mom, a cross-country mom, a youth group mom and a tennis mom. I've also been a...

Why You Need To Let Go And Be Thankful

Being A Cupbearer

I was cupbearer to the king. Nehemiah 1:11 Six simple, yet powerful words. Nehemiah was cupbearer to the most powerful man in Persia. Day after day he silently took his position, bringing a cup to the king. His role was simple. The king may not have even known his...

Three Steps For Emotional Healing

'They begged him to let them touch even the edge of his cloak, and all who touched him were healed.' Mark 6:56 What do think of when you hear the word emotional healing? Is it something you long for? When I think of healing, I think of freedom from pain. Where do you...

The Secret Of Balancing Life

Busy moms everywhere are asking, “How can I balance it all?” Women have been wrestling with the busy-woman syndrome since the time of Christ. We see it with Jesus’ friends Martha and Mary in Luke 10:38-42. As a young mom, my internal “good woman” measuring tool was...

Five Ways To Rest After The Storm

I've rarely known what being refreshed feels like until this morning. It's the third day of being snowed in after a storm in the Midwest. Facebook's been heating up with complaints of restlessness, kids being cooped up and having endless time of nothingness on hand. ...

Why God Doesn’t Want Supermoms

As the snow comes down, recent conversations with women flood my mind. Conversations with moms who are struggling with the past, the present, and the future. The conversations center on the image that women should be supermoms. In Victorian times, the image of...

Jeremiah 29:11 Does God Have Plans for You in 2014?

Do you believe God has plans for you in 2014? Are you familiar with the verse from Jeremiah 29:11? ''For I know the plans I have for you' declares the Lord. 'Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.'' (NIV) Some people believe...

A Call To The Church: The Lost Boys, Phil Robertson And Jesus

My heart is heavy this morning. It's heavy for the Lost Boys. Not the Peter Pan troupe, but the boys and girls in homes who don't have fathers. For the kids who don't know or ever will know their father. For the children whose fathers are in jail not just at Christmas...

Best of 2013: Why I (H-A-T-E) the Holidays:

I posted this article last year and was called by the Rikki Lake Show. While I didn't hate the holidays enough to make the show, there were many responses that resonated with this post. I have a love-hate relationship with the holidays. It's the expectations and the...

Hope For Holiday Relationships

I have the poem 'Do It Anyway' by Mother Theresa in my counseling office. It makes me strong and gives me hope for holiday relationships. It was given to me by a friend in a Christmas letter in 2005. It's timeless. The truths are essential for relationships during the...

When Things Change, God Doesn’t

'Every good and perfect gift comes from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who doesn't change like shifting shadows' James 1:17 (NIV) This weekend I'll be speaking to a group of women in Wisconsin on James 1:17. The verse couldn't be more...

Why Praying For Sex Trafficking At The Super Bowl Is The Wrong Things To Do

The last few days my Facebook and Twitter feed has filled with 'pray for the sex trafficking during the Super Bowl.' This is one area where prayer is futile without action or commitment to change. Forgive my boldness, but sex trafficking begins and ends with men. I'm...

How To Handle Unmet Holiday Expectations

My hometown is beautiful at Christmas with twinkling lights and picture perfect decorations. It mirrors the image of Christmas. A season of great expectations. Unmet holiday expectations are disappointing. How many children are disappointed because they don't get the...

Finding Calm by Jennifer Barnes Maggio

I'm excited to help launch Choose Now team member Jennifer Barnes Maggio's new book for single parents! Eighteen years ago, I gazed into the eyes of my unbelievably beautiful first-born. I sat in the hospital room alone. It was the first of many nights, many years,...

Lessons From A Thing Called Grace

'I struggle with it,' she said, looking me in the eyes. She was struggling with judgment, but also with grace. I've wrestled with judgment and grace. Have you? Judging others when they broke rules you thought you had to live by to be accepted. Wresting with grace...

Dee’s Story of Mental Illness

It's my privilege to share the inspiring story of a friend of mine, Dee, who shares her journey with a mental illness. As a service provider of mental health, I am honored she is sharing her story. We need to understand the shame that goes with mental illness. Thank...

Never Be Shamed Again

And never again will my people be shamed...Joel 2:26, 27 I looked out on the sea of faces, men and women, black and white, young and old, and saw their eyes. Eyes that a few minutes before were downcast, but now were intently listening. Never Again Be Shamed. I've...

Guest Post: Tracy Teppler of My Daily Walk in His Grace

I'm catching up from the Arise conference that I'll be sharing about soon! I have two other speaking engagements this week, so I'm honored to have Tracy Teppler of My Daily Walk in His Grace and Encourage 24/7 share today! I wonder if you can identify with the story!...

Sharing What God Has Done

The last week has been monumental in many ways. As a counselor and educator, some days are discouraging, bleak, leaving you desperate for change in the lives of kids. But in the midst of those feelings, God works. Where have you seen God work this week? I'm reminded...

Parenting Guest Post: The Video Game Struggle

by contributing writer Josh Kissee of Manbuilders.com   Dads, do your children like to play video games? If you have video games in your home, then the answer is most likely a YES! I know, I know. Many parents are firmly against video games and some don’t even...

The Power of Honoring Our Stories

I sat across from her. In the glow of the restaurant, she looked away and spoke from her pain. She was honest with me. I heard and understood her. The book of her life opened. It began making sense to me. In it, I saw layers of pain, remorse, grief and regret. How...

The Middle School Years & Choose Now Ministries

We are raising our fourth middle school student. Our kids are three years apart. For ten years, we've had someone entering middle school while one is leaving. What. A. Thrill. As a teen, I had life-altering experiences in middle school. I became anorexic. I had my...

When Wounds Won’t Heal (and a giveaway for you)

There are wounds that heal. And then there are wounds that are always there. A festering sore. A dull pain that reminds you of the hurt. A thorn in the flesh Paul (the apostle) called it. He asked God to remove his thorn three times and God said, 'My grace is...

What Is Needed For Restoring Relationships

When I look out on the sea of faces, some young, some old, I see tears, heartache and unspoken pain. It's behind the beautiful demeanor, but present all the same. When I speak on broken relationships, faces of hurting people is the universal language spoken by women...

Why I Choose Jesus and Not Religion

'I have no idea how I handled things before I knew Him,' she wrote. I looked at my computer screen. She got it. My friend was writing about her current trials on top of childhood trauma and abuse she's still healing from. The words are powerful. It's the pure and...

PG-13: Why The Church Has Failed These Children

Foster children are the voiceless children in America. They are the ones we have failed. As I talk to adults who lived in foster care as children and as I look in the eyes of children pulled from one home to another, I wonder why we can’t heal the children needing to...

Parenting Series:These Kids Are Driving Me Crazy!

By Krissy L. Nelson These kids are driving me crazy! Yeah, that’s right I said it. I said the thing that most mothers think and feel at some point but shy away from saying out loud, or God forbid - put in writing! Crazy… Batty… Looney tunes… It’s really nothing new...

How To Walk Away From Temptation and Finish Strong

Since we're surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles and let us run with perseverance the race marked before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the Author and perfecter of our faith....

How to Face Your Fears And Be Victorious (Part 1)

It's been a week since I committed to face my fears and run to God instead of reaching for food or alternatives for food. Forty days to run His direction instead of running to my coping mechanisms. And I'm not alone. Many of you emailed saying you're joining me in...

Facing My Fears And Why I’m Running to God

I've had this post in my head for months. It's about fears. It's about food. And it's all about God. This week, I stepped out in facing my fears by making a forty day personal commitment between me and God. For forty days, I'll move towards God and farther away from...

Where Did Your Confidence Go? Guest Post Michelle D. Howe

It's my honor to partner with Michelle Howe in releasing her new book, 'It is Finished.' You can download it free August 15-16 at Amazon by clicking here. Have you seen my confidence? I know it was around here somewhere. I remember seeing it before I lost my job...

Why The Future Is Defined by Today’s Choices

This week summer is ending. The college kids leave and the teeners and mom and dad go back to school. As summer ends, it’s tempting to chalk it up as one more year, to moan about the things I didn't get done, and say, “Next year.” But I don’t want to live for “Next...

Parenting Series: Why Mama Needs A Minute

By Contributing Writer Kristen L. Nelson of Not Alone Mom “Can everyone just leave me alone for a minute PLEASE?! Mama needs a minute. Sound familiar? There are “those days” that seem to creep up on us when we least expect it. We've all had them. The days where the...

Change And Transition: Keeping Up and Giving Away {for you}

The winds of change and transition are blowing at home. Our summer's been busy as our family's been experiencing transitions. As I've spoken to hundreds of women this summer, change and transition is a theme I hear in people's stories. People transitioning from grief...

Barnyard Lessons on Obedience And Why Obeying Is Better Than Sacrifice

He called me at 9:15 am asking for his brother's phone number. 'We're having some trouble with the calf' he said. I held my tongue, gave him Brett's phone number, and sighed in my spirit. I'll talk to him about disobeying later, I thought. He's learning the hard way...

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Why I Can’t Do Everything and What You Can Learn By Doing Nothing

A reader asked, 'How do you do everything?' My reply is, 'Sometimes by doing nothing.' That's what I've done lately as a blogger, writer and social media participant. Nothing. Because I can't do everything. Neither can you. Instead, I've been spending time with people...

GPS Routing Not Advised - A Road Trip With God and GPS Jack

Last summer, my friend and I went on a road trip to Virginia. When we got ready to return home, we relied on Jack, our GPS, to guide us. We talked a lot while going where Jack told us to go, not paying attention to where we were on the map. As we drove the hills of...

A Pin For You And Giveaway Winner

  Blessings to you today! Thank you for supporting with prayer and encouragement. The winner of the $10 Target gift card is Connie Gadson. Have a great weekend!

Why We Need To Talk About Our Messy Lives

{and a give-away} I stood in the my drive way with dirty hands from pulling weeds. An acquaintance stopped to talk with me about life beyond the picket fence. 'If someone's life is picture-perfect, they're not living' they said. a profound statement Last week I spoke...

News Beyond The Picket Fence {And A Giveaway!}

Lots of things have been happening with the ministry of Life Beyond the Picket Fence. New web design {with assistance of Sara Smoker, webdesigner} Expanded weekly posts at Parent Space, Not Alone Mom, and Ten to Twenty Parenting 'Pins' with inspiring words and...

How to Acculturate and Broaden Your Son’s World This Summer

By Josh Kissee, Manbuilders.com The summer season is a time every boy longs for. The joy of swimming, backyard fun, water fights, summer camps, BBQ’s, downtime from school, family vacations, and overall summer boredom busting shapes this time before the hurried pace...

Brenda L. Yoder, LMHC

Speaking, writing, advocating and educating about life, faith, and parenting beyond the picket fence image.

Why You Should Consider The Gospel According To Country Music

Country music gets a bad rap. I used to think it consisted of Hee Haw's cast singing about getting drunk because their wife ran off with their best friend's sister's brother-in-law from her third marriage. With a lot of twang, 'fer's' and a really bad steel geetar....

Oh How He Loves Us: Guest Post

By Kristin L. Nelson There are no words to describe the depths of God’s love for us. His love is more powerful than any of us could every fully know. His love is strong, yet tender. He is the mighty creator of the universe, yet he knows each one of us by name. He...

Why I’m Not Afraid To Air My Dirty Laundry On Sundays

Last Sunday we returned from a family trip in the wee hours of the morning. After attending church and eating a good meal, we spent the majority of the afternoon relaxing, what we normally do on Sundays. A day of rest. A day set aside for worship. A day different from...

Slow and Steady Does Win the Race: The Challenge of Consistency

Remember that Tortoise and Hare? There's a saying, 'slow and steady wins the race.' Other words describing this principle are consistency perseverance doing the work Is it hard to be consistent and persevere when you don't see it paying off? In the Love Affair that's...

Knowing God’s Character

[](http://66.147.244.135/~brenday1/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/photo-1.jpg)What quality of God's character do you need today?

How To Be Strong When There’s A Weak Link

I'm 4% permanently partially paralyzed. A fancy way to say I have a torn ACL from a workman's comp injury. I have a weak link. As my surgeon released me from treatment, he said my knee will only be as strong as the muscle above it. 'You have to keep that muscle...

Friday Chat

I'm sitting in a hotel room with my family trying to quietly type. I don't think it's working. There are lots of things happening in the ministry of Life Beyond the Picket Fence. Parenting: First, I'm excited to join the writing team at Ten to Twenty Parenting. I'll...

How To Respond When Faith Isn’t Tangible

There's a machine making background noise as I'm typing. It's a dehumidifier taking the moisture out of the heavy summer air. Every twelve to fourteen hours, a light on the machine says, 'Bucket Is Full' because the machine has collected enough unseen water particles...

Intentional Parenting

Find faith-based life balance during the busiest years of parenting.

Parenting Resources

Brenda is a parenting columnist for 10 to 20 Parenting, NotaLone Mom, and Choose Now Ministries. Subscribe via email for weekly posts to your inbox or see current posts on the sidebar.

Forty-five. Why Mid-life Is Not What I Feared

Today I'm forty-five. Not forty, not fifty, but halfway in between. Half of my life is completed, if I live until ninety, by the grace of God. For to me, to live is Christ, to die is gain. Philippians 1:21 Ten years ago, for my thirty-fifth birthday, I borrowed a...

If Heaven Were A Place and Why I Stay Away

He stands in an empty room. It’s quite and still, but his heart speaks to memories the he holds. I couldn’t stand in that room, so I stay away. There are moments when the pain of what is gone is too great. It sears your mind and heart like a flaming sword reaching to...

The Important Things a Dad Does Wearing The Superman Cape

I was cleaning when Harold the Helicopter caught my eye. Harold's been sitting on my husband's dresser for years. It's the spot where he keeps his important things, a sacred place I don't usually disturb. 'Dad can fix anything' was what my son said years ago when...

Parenting Series: Things I’d Do Over in Raising Girls

I'm posting at Parents Space today one of my most popular posts on raising girls. If you've been reading the blog the last week, you know the challenges and journey I've had in raising my girl. Here is a simple list of things I'd do again in raising a girl and things...

Why There’s Power In Sticky Situations

I was in the middle of this mess when I had a child who needed to talk. Two hours later, I feel like I had a marathon therapy session with my own child and now have to resume this sticky mess. Real life - important moments in sticky messes. What moments do you need...

The Love Affair That’s Not With My Husband Bible Study

Over the years, I've developed a love affair with the Word of God. At fifteen, I read a translation of scripture that made God personal to me when an eating disorder consumed my mind, body, and spirit. At seventeen, His word became alive to me when victory overcome...

Parenting Series: Fifty Things I Want My Child To Know About Life

To my children entering the world of adulthood - I recently wondered what I haven’t taught you. So here’s my non-exhaustive list of things I want you to know. Be as wise as a serpent and as innocent as a dove {Matthew 10:16}. Use common sense when dealing with...

What You’re Born To Do: Lesson From a Killer Dog

I learned a lesson from a killer dog. This spring our Boston Terrier was killed by another family pet, an English Shepherd. Both were outdoor dogs along with our German Shepherd. The kinship reminded me of the furry friends on Homeward Bound. They were steadfast...

Inspiring Stories: Naomi’s Story

This month's inspiring story is written by Naomi Raber. Naomi lives by example that the choices of how we respond to our circumstances is what forms our life. As you read her story, you'll see a humble, genuine person. I am honored to share her story, hoping it will...

Friday Chat

Yesterday was our last day of school. The monkeys are out! A reader asked me to write about setting summer schedules for kids. I've written two posts at Parents Space this week on summer schedules and kids. The posts have had a lot of positive feedback. The links are...

Parenting Series: Surviving the Toddler Years by Kristin Nelson

It's always a joy to have contributing writer Kristin Nelson of Not Alone Mom post here! I’ve always considered myself to be a very patient person; even after I had children. I remained patient as my newborn cried through the night and I was up and down...

Sometimes the Best Answer is a Four-Letter-Word.

I spent three years in grad school learning multiple theories on personality, development, and how do conduct talk therapy. Thousands of hours from work experience has taught me sometimes the best answer for life's problems is a four-letter word . Bob Newhart puts it...

Be Still And Know

[](http://66.147.244.135/~brenday1/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/hammock-0011.jpg)Do you need rest in the Lord today?

Facing Insecurities: Why I Don’t Look In The Mirror

It's summer time here on the Back Forty. With summertime comes natural beauty, fresh fruits and veggies from our garden. With the changing of the seasons come the changing of life's seasons, too. Years roll from one to another... and we're the same person in all of...

Parenting Series: Raising Kids is Not So Easy

Raising kids is not so easy. Teaching kids to respect each other is a lifelong process. How siblings treat each other is crucial to the health of a family and a child's individual development. It's tempting to ignore it when siblings hurt one another or don't get...

Between A Rock and A Hard Place

I live in the middle of the third largest Amish community in the United States. Driving in our area requires a certain level of acquired proficiency. Slow-moving horse and buggies are plentiful, and maneuvering around them is a skill only the locals know how to do. ...

Friday Chat

It's graduation day here at Life Beyond the Picket Fence. If you missed my post on it earlier this week, you find it at Not Alone Mom today by clicking here. Celebrating today! Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over...

Parenting Series: 101 Summer Boredom Busters for Boys

By contributing writer Josh Kissee of Manbuilders.com. The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity. -Dorothy Parker Are you dreading your boys asking to play video games, watch TV, or sit at the computer when they get bored this summer? I...

Teen and Youth Expert

Brenda's expertise is working with teens, youth, and kids after being a teacher, school counselor, youth leader, and parent. Contact her for your next youth event.

Saying Good-bye and the Power of the Mundane

I'm sitting on my porch swing taking in the day I hope will never end.  The sun is on its way down to slip behind the trees in an hour or two.  The flowers are bright around me and a breeze is on my cheek.  The birds are singing,  the cattle are...

The Power of Hope and Compassion: Let’s Git-R-Done

This week has been crazy. We're getting ready for graduation and open house next weekend. The second time around isn't so bad, but it's a great reason to get things done around the house that need to be done. We're operating is 'Git-R-Done' mode. Like cleaning,...

Parenting Series: What Have I Gotten Myself Into? By Shannon Dew

It's my privilege to have Shannon Dew, author at Dewing Life, to guest post today. Visit her site - it's full of encouragement and practical advice for parenting blended families. I'm thankful to have her contribute to our parenting series!   'What have I gotten...

Mother’s Day: Inspiring Women and Messed-Up Experiences in Motherhood

Today is Mother’s Day - the day we think of the blessings of motherhood. In reflecting on this day, I'm reminded of inspiring women who had messed-up experiences in motherhood. Many biblical women endured hard places, being forced to lean on the Lord alone and...

Saturday Morning Coffee

Life at our house has been busy this week. Track meets, basketball practice, tennis practice before school, Prom, field trips, work for our senior until dark after school, jobs, planting the garden, cutting rhubarb, 4-H goat tagging, 4-H shooting sports, a speaking...

Springtime on the Farm

[](http://66.147.244.135/~brenday1/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/photo-89-002.jpg)From my yard to yours. Have a great day!

Forty-five. Why Mid-life Is Not What I Feared

Parenting Series: Things I’d Do Over in Raising Girls

I’m A Fighter. Why Fighting For What’s Important Is Worth It All

  When my little girl came into the world, like your firstborn, she was all I dreamed of. But God doesn't prepare us for the challenges of parenting, the things in our children that bring out the worst in us. God gave me a beautiful daughter with passion, a...

Inspiring Stories: “Loving the Kids”

This post is written by my daughter. For the prelude to her story, read here. It’s taken nearly a year to heal my broken heart—to relive the rich memories with a song rather than sorrow lacing my heart. It’s been nearly 11 months since I left with a group of students...

A July 4 Pin For You

[](https://brendayoder.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/photo-20-001.jpg)

Why Raising Children Is Really About Letting Go

Today I'm posting an article at Not Alone Mom on the process of releasing our children. Last year at this time, I wrote the following post as my daughter came home from college only to turn around to leave for Guatemala for the summer. I knew in my heart it would be...

Parenting Series: God Will Supply Your Needs/Free Resource

Thanks for the great post! By Kristin L. Nelson of Not Alone Mom And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19 This is the verse that runs through my mind over and over again as I walk up and down the...

Getting Ready to Cross Over

They stood before the great River. They fought hard, endured much, and it was before them. The time was Now. The Promised Land. All they hoped and dreamed of and been promised. 'They camped....for three days' (Joshua 3:2) Do you camp for three days before you are...

Speak Up: I Am A Writer

I walked down the hallway with the presenter as I asked a few questions about domain changes. Because she was approachable, I felt the courage inside to ask another question: 'When can you call yourself a writer?' She stopped, looked at me with eyes that knew the...

Friday Chat: What’s Your Measuring Tool?

I'm posting today at Not Alone Mom for moms. Who do you measure yourself against? Read about it here. I posted about rest this week at Parents Space - you can read it here. It's been a busy week as a counselor working with kids in a school. You can read about that...

The Gap, The Holes, and the Race to Fill Them

She sat there with a batting glove on her hand. It gave her power in the identity she's forming. She's a fighter. Inside is a girl who wants to be something else. I see it in the way she cocks her head and the way her eyes get big when her heart softens. He sat...

The Parenting Series:The Simple Question and the Not-So-Easy-Answer

Last week my son came to me with a simple question. “Mom, are you busy?” I groaned inside because I knew the answer. The right answer was “No. ” The wrong answer, which was inside my head, said “I really don’t want to stop what I’m doing.” Luckily, my mouth came up...

Why I Run and Why You Need Freedom, Too

The sun was in my face, good music was in my ears, and my feet hit the pavement. As my feet hit the ground with each strike, I was careful to land just right. After months of being injured, having knee surgery, and currently undertaking physical therapy, I was aware...

Speaking

Brenda is a national speaker for women's groups, church events and educational seminars. She'd love to speak for your next event. Click on the Speaking tab for information.

Why The Breakfast Club is Still Relevant Today

When I taught high school Sociology, we studied stereotypes and social groups via the movie 'The Breakfast Club.' As I'm watching it at home tonight, I realize the movie's content may be even more accurate in today's high schools, middle schools, and elementary...

Friday Chat: Piecing, Publishing, and Pouring Out

Fridays are busy days in the other parts of the ministry at Life Beyond the Picket Fence, especially today. Just a quick Friday Chat about what's happening here. This weeks' posts at Parents Space include: 'I'm Proud of You: Parental Insecurities' - lessons in...

Parenting Series: How To Build Respect with Boys

Written By Rebecca Kissee Rebecca and her husband, Josh Kissee have authored a new e-book 'Bringing Up Boys Of Virtue' that can be purchased from Amazon. Check it out now for a reasonable price. A book review I've written is also posted here. Luke 6:31 'Do unto...

A Light in the Fog: Can You See Me?

I was driving in dense fog the other day when I passed an Amish pony cart filled with teen girls. They were holding a small light that blinked on and off, in an attempt to let oncoming cars know they were there. It looked so feeble, this small light that flickered at...

Inspiring Stories: Ingrid’s Story

It's my great privilege to have a dear friend share her story of cancer survival. This is Ingrid's story: My friend holds her daughter's hand, whispering prayers as the daughter lay in the Intensive Care Unit. This young, single mother just barely survived an...

Catching Up

Some weeks seem to be so busy. I don't get a chance to interact with you, my readers, with whom I'm not connected through FB or Twitter. This Friday as I'm ready to walk out the door, I want to catch you up with some Life Beyond the Picket Fence updates. This...

Parenting Series: The Power of Bragging on Your Son

By Contributing Author Josh Kissee of Manbuilders.com 'People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing and thats why we recommend it daily. '- Zig Ziglar 'The happiness of life is made up of minute fractions, the little, soon forgotten...

What It Takes To Bloom and Thrive

Today I put my hands in the ground for the first time. I pulled away dead stems, branches and leaves from plants and flowers that haven't bloomed since Fall. Underneath the ugly brown foliage was fresh, green growth. The dead material needed to be removed so new...

Parenting Series: Be An Encouraging Mom

By Contributing Author, Kristin L. Nelson of Not Alone Mom. “If you can’t say anything nice - don’t say anything at all.” You’ve heard the saying time and again. We use it to teach our children about the value of holding their tongue and being the bigger person....

Silent No More

I can be silent no more. Today's Easter. For the Christian faith, it's the most important celebration - more so than Christmas. It's not popular to say you're a Christ-follower. It wasn't in the day of Christ and it isn't now. Following Christ is different than being...

Winter’s Here, But Spring is Coming

Like other parts of the Midwest, Spring is coming late this year on the Back Forty. As I write, the calendar says Spring has arrived, but snow is pelting the window. I'm a whiner about March anyway, so the late spring has made me a Champion Whiner. {Trophy, please.}...

Parenting Series: The Curse of The Supermom

It's a privilege to have blogger Amanda Hostetler from Raspberry Beige as a guest writer for the Wednesday parenting series. Thank you, Amanda, for sharing this! No, I am not writing a comic book series. Although I do think my title is pretty clever. I am surrounded...

March Madness and MVP’s: It’s All in the Assists

It's March Madness and I'm a Hoosier. Every stereotype about Hoosier Hysteria lives in my hometown, in my own house. I married Mr. MVP, who comes from a family of basketball MVPs. My babygirl received a basketball hoop for her first birthday. No pressure. My...

How Barnyard Therapy Beats Freud Hands-Down

I live on a family farm. Though we sold the family dairy herd a few years ago, my diary-farmer husband keeps a dairy goat on our little stead. When he's gone, I often find myself counselor by day and dairy maid by night. This makes for a new brand of psychology -...

Spring Cleaning, Barnyard Therapy and A Giveaway

The calendar says it's Spring, though it's only 20 degrees here in Indiana. But I'm ready for spring, so I'm hoping to share some pick-me-ups with you today for a change. First, I'm posting today at Not Alone Mom on Practical Steps for Keeping Order Without Losing...

Parenting Series: Improving the Relationship with Your Son - The Power of Positive Words

by contributing writer Josh Kissee of Manbuilders.com “You have more than got this, and I love you. Be brave!” said the Father to his son just before he stepped into the batters box at the baseball game. He could hear his dad in the background cheering for him as the...

How to Fight A Lion and Other Principalities

'For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.' Ephesians 6:12 'Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil...

The Resurrection:Real Victory for Real Life

A similar article was first published in The Purpose Magazine in March, 2013 The life-giving power of God’s word became real to me at seventeen. As a young girl with an eating disorder, I felt powerless in attempts at getting out of the cycle of starving myself,...

Balancing Priorities: Weekly Post

Every Friday I post at Not Alone Mom, a ministry of encouragement for mothers. This month we are focusing on 'Spring Cleaning' - rest and renewal. Visit my post here about the age old struggle women have in balancing priorities - and the spiritual dilemma of Mary...

The Sound of Silence

And there was silence in Heaven. Revelation 8:1 I don't feel right writing, but in my selfishness, I do. The tears roll down my face today. My heart is broken. Broken for a childhood friend who lost his son today. For a best friend whose lost a nephew, for the...

Running Away, Giving Up and the Benefits of Being Caught

This week, I'll be speaking in Western Michigan for two women's groups on Hope Beyond the Picket Fence. I'll be sharing what I call 'my angry mom story.' It's the hope and truth our family has lived through when the storybook image came crashing down and my faith...

Retreats

Brenda is a popular speaker for women's retreats, ministry events, and youth retreats. See the 'Retreat' and 'Speaking Topics' tab for full details.

Steps to Health and Healing - Pushing Through Fear

'Ouch, that hurts,' I told the physical therapist working on my knee. He was trying to figure out what was stable and what needed to be stretched after last week's surgery. 'We're going to get you walking,' he said, in a thick Polish accent. 'That pain? It's...

Parenting Series: Allow Yourself to Breathe - God’s Got You!

by contributing writer, Kristin L. Nelson at Not Alone Mom. I lift up my eyes to the mountains—where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth. Psalm 121:1-2 We need to remember as mothers we can’t do it on our own… we will...

Taking Risks Despite the Gloomy Forecast

I'm going to try' I said. Snow was no longer coming down, but school had just been canceled. The winds were blowing snow across the road in front of our house. I checked the weather between Indiana and Virginia. 'Winter advisory for Shenandoah Valley' the Weather...

Inspiring Stories: Stacey’s Story

Friday I posted The New Normal: 8 Tips for Working Moms at Not Alone Mom. It is my greatest privilege to share Stacey's story of love and grace. She has walked many paths familiar to women - loss of love, abandonment, abuse, looking for love only the Father can...

The Notecard Series

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Why Today’s A Not-So-Big-Deal {But It Really Is}

She sat across from me, leaning in, with tears in her eyes. She listened to the story. Today (Monday) I'm having surgery. A simple procedure. I recently tore my ACL and meniscus playing basketball in a school-wide event. The injury warrants arthroscopic surgery....

Guest Post: H. John Lyke, “What Would Our Founding Fathers Say”

I have the privilege to have H. John Lyke as a guest writer today. We've connected through social media and have similar passions in the social sciences. As a history teacher and counseling professional, it's a privilege to have his voice today at Life Beyond the...

Parenting Series: Lessons in Proofreading

I have a senior in high school this year and it's that time of year when scholarships are due. When my daughter was a senior, she diligently searched for scholarship applications and faithfully submitted various essays. Her brother is doing the same. I've learned a...

Parenting

As an educator, counselor and mom, Brenda's passion is encouraging and educating parents. She's a parenting columnist for 10 t0 20 Parenting, Choose Now Ministries, Whatever Girls, and Not Alone Mom. She'd love to share with your parent's group!

Stop the Train, I Want To Get Off

This past week, we had three theater performances, four basketball games, a science fair project, an Aztec pyramid model to make, a major scholarship interview, youth group meetings, a Valentine's Day party, Valentine's Day gifts to buy and make for the girlfriends...

{Dis}Courage

Does it feel like sometimes there's a big, thick wall surrounding you, isolating you from all that is good on the other side? I call this wall discouragement. I don't like it. Are you discouraged? What are the bricks in the wall surrounding you today? In...

Boy Meets Girl. They Fall In Love. Then What?

Today I'm posting today at Not Alone Mom about marriage, love, and the thieves that sneak in and steal. Come join me there! And have a great weekend!

The Notecard Series

A life-long principle that has challenged me and helped define priorities.

Parenting Series: Improving Relationships with Your Son (Part 2)

by Joshue Kissee (Manbuilders.com) Author Tim Ferriss blogged about reality distortion field and rarity of giving your full attention to another person. “We are living in a world where no one, it seems, has attention for anyone or anything for more than a few moments....

God Loves You

This week I wrote about fear, depression, and the intimacy of God's Word and posted at Not Alone Mom. Read it if you need encouragement and a personal word of how much God loves you. This week as I drove back and forth to work, this song ministered to me over and...

Steps in Overcoming Obstacles: Keep Walking

I have a messed up knee. A torn ACL, torn meniscus, possible compression fracture. Today I'll be seeing an orthopedic doctor to find out the course of treatment. Since the injury two months ago, I haven't been active. That's been hard for me. Being active is a...

Parenting Series: Lessons From My Toddler

by contributing writer Kristin L. Nelson, author of Not Alone Mom. My daughter (just under 3years) and I started a new tradition. Early in the morning when she gets up, while her brother is sleeping, we sit on the couch and read her Jesus Calling Bible Storybook for...

God Made a Farmer

I married a farmer. Though I'm a mental health professional, I've learned answers to life's problems can be solved in lessons of farm life. On Superbowl Sunday, a commercial aired titled 'God Made a Farmer,' with a poem read by Paul Harvey. The words of this have...

Inspiring Stories: Candi’s Story

It's a great privilege to share Candi's story. Candi is a family friend and her honest vulnerability makes her story so powerful. As a counselor working with children and families, I honor the hard choices she took to overcome her addiction both for herself and her...

Updates

It seems like forever since I've posted. It's been one of those weeks. Do you have weeks like that? This past weekend my husband and I traveled 22 hours to be with our daughter for 36 hours, moving her into her new apartment three states away. She's a junior in...

Parenting Series: The Middle School Years

'I hate middle school,' a friend recently texted, asking for advice and prayer in a difficult moment. I knew those moments all too well. Our kids are three years apart, so we have a revolving door of middle schoolers, one leaving while another is entering. During...

What is Your Drug of Choice?

Vodka and Vicodin. What's your drug of choice? This weekend I'll be sharing the powerful story of a young mom who found herself unexpectedly turning to Vicodin and Vodka and ended up in rehab. This was not the life she ever imagined herself living. She was a parent...

The Hidden Trap of Motherhood (and More)

Each Friday I post at Not Alone Mom with Kristin Nelson as part of her ministry team. This week's post is a personal one I processed as a woman with insecurities - The Hidden Trap of Motherhood. Perhaps you can relate. Feel free to read it here. If you missed this...

Parenting Series: Child of Mine

By Amy Mitchell - http://unchainedfaith.com You know that moment when you're pregnant, and you imagine what it will be like when the baby is born? Maybe you picture yourself just like the women in magazine ads: You, showered and dressed with your makeup on, holding...

The Notecard Series: Precious. Honored. Known

The Notecard Series are posts based on old, spiral-bound notecards I wrote statements I needed in front of me at all times. As a stay-at-home mom, they perched on a window sill above my kitchen sink. As a teacher, they sat on my desk. Some days, they were words to...

The Cost

“This is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts. He knows everything.” I John 3:19-20 (New International Version) This morning I've wasted time,...

Why I Hate Resolutions

I also posted on hating Christmas, and it earned me a phone call from the Ricki Lake Show. I must not have hated Christmas enough, though, because I didn't win the golden ticket to be a guest on their show. I'm crushed. During the New Year social media buzzed about...

Friday’s Post: A Mother’s Heart

Friday's Post: A Mother's Heart I'm posting today at Not Alone mom on a Mother's Heart. What a privilege to be a contributor to this ministry to mothers who need to know they are not alone! Come and join Krissy and the rest of the Not Alone Mom family. This week...

The Notecard Series. Stains and All.

This summer we moved desks around. In the process, I found three spiral bound notecard units. I knew what they were. When I was a young wife and mother, I made my own devotional by purchasing blank notecards on a spiral tab. On these blank note cards, I wrote...

About the Picket Fence Image

In 2009, I started Life Beyond the Picket Fence. I was in my second year of grad school studying Clinical Mental Health Counseling. I left the teaching profession, of which I loved, because I needed a change. I was struggling with life, faith, and parenting. I...

Parenting Series: Improving Your Relationship with Your Son (Part 1 of 4)

By contributing writer, Joshua Kissee Worry not about the high cost of building men...but be concerned about the high cost of failing to do so. Texas Prison Museum Wall Poster So you've heard a hundred New Year's resolutions available. I even recently posted an...

Tanya’s Story: A Response

Today I'm posting at She Stands.  Stop for a heart check! If you didn't read Tanya's inspiring story posted this weekend, read it here.  It's a beautiful story of hope and redemption after a life of child abuse and rejection.  If it touches you, feel...

Inspiring Stories: Tanya’s Story

I have the humble privilege to share Tanya's Glanzman's story of being an overcomer and survivor of childhood abuse, abandonment, and neglect.  Tanya is a remarkable woman.  She is a contributing writer for Circle of Friends Ministry each week and ministers...

Middle Schoolers, Motherhood, and Mountains.

If you have or have had middle schoolers, you've experienced the Middle School Moan, the eye rolls, etc. Every Friday I have the privilege to be a contributing writer at Not Alone Mom. All parents alike, feel free to read today's article on those precious middle...

Today

Today the morning news reports the United States has the highest infant mortality rate, youngest average age of adult deaths, and highest homicide rate of developed countries. Tonight's news reports the United States puts almost half of it's food in landfills. Today,...

Parenting Series: In My Spare Time, I Raise Boys

Scene 1: A call from Teen Now Driving 'Mom, I'm filling the van up with gas, but the gas just goes for a little bit and then stops.' Mother asks questions, questions, and more questions, but doesn't have the right solution. 'You need to go inside and ask' she says....

Parenting Coach

Parenting isn't your storybook image? Brenda has answers for your kids, teens, or conference. Contact Brenda here for available services.  

Hard to Love

I love country music because it’s about real life. A current song out now is “Hard to Love” by Lee Brice. As I listen to the lyrics, faces of people cross my mind. People who are hard to love, and the people who love them. Read the rest of this devotional posted at...

When A Mustang Marries a Buick

You can ask my children what my husband and I fight over. They will tell you: cars and fences. Recently, we've had not-seeing-eye-to-eye discussions over cars. We drive cars we can afford. They are older and are purchased at no-debt cost. That's not the problem....

Snapshots Beyond the Picket Fence

Snapshot One: A family celebrates as their son receives an organ transplant. A true miracle. Hope for new life is with them! Snapshot Two: A family watches their little son fade away before their eyes from cancer. Hope for new life has not come to them. Snapshot...

The Mommy Test and a Giveaway

I have the privilege to post today at Not Alone Mom on just that - feeling alone and a failure as a mom. {Have you ever felt that way?} Read today's post here. Also, the give away for Isn't It Time for A Coffee Break is open until Jan. 9. Find details for the...

Eggs, Muffins, and A Coffee Break

  A few years ago, I got a call from a friend saying she was going to drop off a bag. 'Put it in the garage' I told her. When I picked it up later, inside were six large muffins with the note below:A few days earlier, she mentioned she needed some eggs. I pulled...

Parenting Series: Beautiful Mommy

Each Wednesday, Life Beyond the Picket Fence will post an article related to parenthood. This week, contributing writer Kristin Nelson of Not Alone Mom shares her heart. When becoming a mother, why does the idea of beauty seem irrelevant or unattainable? Is it the...

Fear, Security, And Stereotypes

Recently my daughter and I traveled to an East Coast city to look at an internship site she is considering for next summer. We've never been to this city. We booked a B&B, made arrangements to meet with a mutual friend, and off we went. I was marked by the...

Ministry to Moms

When I was a young mom, I {knew} how I wanted to raise my family. We started having children and my dream began. A strong-willed, temperamental child, a few more toddlers later, motherhood was not the the idyllic picture I originally had. I often felt alone,...

Raising Kids In Favor With God and Man

'And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and man.' Luke 2:52 Christmas is over. Baby Jesus is born. It's time to go on with our lives, our faith, go on with our families, and perception of the Christ. God's Word gives us few glimpses of Jesus...

The Gift of Contentment

Two conversations this week had a striking theme. Question to forty-something co-workers, 'What do you want for Christmas?' Answer, 'Nothing, really, just time with my family. I don't really need or want anything.' I heard this in two different settings. There are...

Relationship Survival During the Holidays

I received this poem in a Christmas letter from a high school friend in 2005. I've kept it all these years. When I was teaching, it was in my classroom. Now, it's a wall hanging in my counseling office. It makes me strong. These truths are essential for the holidays...

Father Hunger Book Review: Why God Calls Men to Love and Lead Their Families

I work with many young men and women who have absentee fathers. Some don't know who their fathers are. Some have fathers in jail. Some have fathers who prioritize their 'new' family. And some have fathers who just don't come around. The following book review...

Quiet

Tomorrow, in schools across America, children and teachers will enter schools and classrooms different people. Parents will walk through familiar routines with interrupting thoughts. 'They lost their lives in a school that could be any school, in a quiet town full of...

Just. No. Words.

I've got to be honest. In light of recent national events, I sit down to write asking, 'Why? Why should I continue putting even more words in social media when there's already too much? Too many words, too much noise filled with anger, agendas, ignorance, and...

Please, Stop

I'm a teacher. a counselor in an elementary school. a parent. Please stop. Kids in classrooms witness violence in their homes. Please stop. Kids play shooting games for entertainment. Please stop. Kids have anger they don't know what to do with. Please stop. Kids...

Effective Parenting & the Art Of Making Jello

When I make Jello, I feel like Betty Crocker. That’s an oxymoron, but let me explain. Making Jello is probably the simplest food to make. But it requires patience and forethought. When making Jello, it takes time to 'set up.' Even the 'quick method' doesn't yield...

Character Development

This past week, as our youngest celebrated a milestone birthday. But that wasn't the real milestone. The real marker is all the changes in our life over the last 13 years. Life-changing changes shadowed by God's character of goodness. When I gave birth to my...

How To’s for Releasing a Child

Today is one of the lasts of the lasts. I celebrated my youngest' thirteenth birthday. One of the milestones of lasts. The last child to leave childhood. The last child to become a teenager. I was teaching child development and parenting to freshman girls when this...

Food, Hunger, and God

Satisfy: to gratify the expectations, needs or desires of. To fulfill a need or desire. To free from doubt or question. As a recovered anorexic and bulimic, I pay attention to my body in order to live a healthy lifestyle without struggle or relapse. I take care of my...

Christmas Survival Tools

I have to admit, my hometown is beautiful at Christmas. Twinkling lights and picturesque decorations. It mirrors the image most of us have of Christmas. A season of great expectations. But expectations can be disappointing. How many children each year are...

Holding Things Loosely

As the holiday season approaches, God's reminding me to hold things loosely. What does that mean? Looking at the time and energy we put into things of this world - things having no eternal value, yet are part of our lives. Time spent on responsibilities, things we...

Why I’m not a Salesman (God’s Gift in Disguise)

Attempting to blog during the Holidays is like putting another ad flyer in an already stuffed newspaper. Lots of good ideas, but there's too much out there already. Now you know why I'm not a salesman. In the busyness and too muchness of everything this season, Life...

An Example of a Life full of Gratitude

On a day with so much to say, I thought I'd repost Nettie's story, a true example of a life of thanksgiving in the midst of heartache. Happy Thanksgiving to each of you, may you be able to give thanks to the Lord today for His love that endures forever. For an...

Doing Life Together

I have the privilege to share how I've been blessed by doing life together with friends and community as a guest writer for Amelia Rhodes. I met Amelia at a conference this summer and have had the honor to get to know her. She is a gifted writer, has a servant's...

Notes to A Teen

This morning I wrote notes to two of my kids. Though I was tempted to rush to the next task on my list, I was reminded that the years are quickly fading, and today they needed to hear a few things. They needed to hear I'm proud of them. There are things my husband...

Humor... Beyond the Picket Fence

There is nothing inspirational in this post. You can read yesterday's post for that. Pure embarrassment today, a day in the Life Beyond the Picket Fence. Yep, that's our dog. We don't need to buy doggie toys here on the boy farm because she finds things like a...

Needed: A Few Good Men, And More

Today's one of those days I'm overcome with emotion. We celebrated my father-in-law's 80th birthday. Those of you who know him know what a rare, exemplary, yet humble man he is. He raised four boys who are men of integrity and goodness. I have the privilege to be...

A Mother’s Heart for a Child with Special Needs

It's been an honor to watch my friend, Lou Anne Hostetler, raise her family. While her firstborn, Jeffrey, was very young, she and her husband found out he has cerebral palsy. This past spring, Jeffrey graduated from high school. I have watched Lou Anne pour into...

Amazing Women, Amazing Stories

I've been privileged to meet women who don't believe there 's anything significant about them. Perhaps that's why they're amazing to me - because what's seen in them first is their Savior. Most of them will say, 'I'm just living my life' but they have obediently...

The First Frost

A light icing of white covered our ground this morning. Part of my heart sunk because I knew it meant death of color soon in our northern Indiana world. I'm a gardener. I love the color and beauty of flowers. I honestly think there's nothing more beautiful than the...

Power of the Paper Plate

A couple of years ago, after spending two weeks as a camp counselor, my daughter came home with stories about mentoring 5th grade girls. While I was making dinner, she sat at the kitchen table with two paper plates. 'Mom, have you ever heard of putting paper plates...

by Brenda L. Yoder

← Risky Business OCTOBER 29, 2012 · 12:29 AM | EDIT ↓ Jump to Comments The Weird Family The ideal: Family devotions, children all sitting around very well-behaved, intently listening to Father share his wisdom and insight from God’s Word. Training up children just...

The Weird Family

The ideal: Family devotions, children all sitting around very well-behaved, intently listening to Father share his wisdom and insight from God's Word. Training up children just like Proverbs says, Norman Rockwell style. Reality: The family barely ever is in the same...

Risky Business

A conversation between my youngest and his friend, 'Where's your mom going tomorrow?' Answer, 'She's going to Indy to share her testimony.' 'That's cool.' Testimony: Evidence or proof provided by the existence or appearance of something. I started writing this blog...

Stolen Identity

Being a woman can have the status of 'Stolen Identity.' It's safe to say I've had an identity crisis ever since becoming a wife and parent, because: I've been a 'stay at home mom' during the mommy-wars of the 1990's, raising four babies. I've been a working mom,...

A 5 Point Plan On Raising Boys

Last week, I wrote about Raising Girls. In the midst of writing it, I left my computer to raise boys. Not because they needed laundry washed, but because I needed to address important, uncomfortable things. When God gave me a third son, a huge sense of responsibility...

Precious and Honored

On gray, cold, Fall days like today when my kids were little, I loved to have them sit on my lap under a blanket and read them stories. They would snuggle close to my chest and we'd read book after book while rocking in a rocker. We felt safe, secure, loved, and...

On Raising Girls

My one and only daughter is coming home tomorrow. She's twenty-one. Not a child. Every mother knows in her heart, that adult child is still a toddler with fingers curled around hers. As my Firstborn comes home, well seasoned to college life, my heart weeps with joy...

Images Beyond the Picket Fence

Snapshots from the past days have etched my mind. Simple moments. Yet not so simple. Snapshots of lives beyond the picket fence image. A boy running to the finish line, passing others, winning his first race ever. On the sidelines, his dad just diagnosed with Stage...

God Hasn’t Moved

Nettie Kelsey experienced a mother's heartache in losing one son in a car accident and another son to prison because he was the driver of that car. Hope came when he was also sentenced to drug rehab. He was turning his life around. And then she received another...

Lord, Where Are You?

Lord where are you? We're going this way. Where are you? These were thoughts Nettie Kelsey had as she heard the judge sentence her son to prison for the fatal death of her other son and a friend. For the first part of Nettie's story, click here. Here is the...

Hope in Heartache. A Story.

In June, 2012, I met Nettie Kelsey at a speaking and writing conference in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Both Hoosiers, we connected at the opening session. As I have gotten to know Nettie, I've had the privilege to hear her story. It's one every person needs to hear who...

Hope in Heartache

Nothing inspires like a good story. As a former History teacher, I read history with individuals in mind. Personal stories inside the landmark stories. I have been awestruck, strengthened, and encouraged by individual stories throughout time. People like you and me...

Until We All Come Home - Must Read

Until We All Come Home: A Harrowing Journey, a Mother's Courage, a Race to Freedom by Kim De Blecourt My rating: 5 of 5 stars Honest. Stunning. Raw. Captivating. Challenging. Full of hope. These words describe Kim de Blecourt's book 'Until We All Come Home.' Kim...

A Place to Belong

Today, I have a devotional on being Rootbound featured at Circle of Friend's ministry page. Please visit it, read it and share it if it ministers to you. Also, to introduce you to the purpose and heart of Circle of Friends Ministry, I am offering my first giveaway. It...

Rootbound and Finding A Place to Belong

Today, I have a devotional on being Rootbound featured at Circle of Friend's ministry page. Please visit it, read it and share it if it ministers to you. The link is not working: URL is http://www.ourcircleoffriends.org/category/devotionals/ Also, to introduce you to...

When People Fail...

There'll be something I will do or say that will fail you. But God will never fail you. I shared this with an-acquaintance-turned-friend-who-was-a- beginning -Christian. Many people failed her in her life. I knew my own limitations. If her idea of God was...

You Don’t Understand. A Teenager.

We stood there, our voices rising. 'You're not listening to what I'm saying' I said, exasperated. 'You just don't understand!' These rants went back and forth like a ping pong ball. I do understand. If only you'd hear me. A conversation between a parent and teenager....

My Other Love

Lots of things on my list today. I need to..... do the laundry, unload the dishwasher, and send emails to people at work. I should..... exercise, renew my teaching license, and do...

My Love Affair

Lots of things on my list today. I need to..... do the laundry, unload the dishwasher, and send emails to people at work. I should..... exercise, renew my teaching license, and do things I'm putting off. but more than anything, I want to spend time with God. Over the...

The Love Affair That’s Not With My Husband

Moments that Matter

Sometimes, the simplest moments can be extraordinarily significant.  As my children have grown, I’ve been humbled in realizing significant moments really haven’t been elaborate birthday parties or championship games. They've often been irrelevant times that...

Oasis, Baby

For three days they traveled in the desert without finding waterWhen they came to water and it was bitterSo the people grumbled.The Lord showed Moses a piece of woodto throw in the water, making the water fit to drink.'If you listing carefully to...

The Pain, the Medal, and The Power of Human Connection

'Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses.....let us run the race marked out for us.'  Hebrews 12:1I got the medal.But the lessons from running a half-marathon are greater than a medal.Yesterday was race day. The music was...

Half-Marathons, Israelites, Supertramp, and The Long Way Home

It so happened that after Pharaoh released the people, God didn't lead them by the road through the land of the Philistine, which was the shortest route, for God thought, 'If the people encounter war, they'll change their minds and go back to Egypt.'   Exodus...

Declaring What the Lord has Done

'On this day, tell your son, I do this because of what the Lord did for me.'    Exodus 13:8What are the things the Lord has done for you?Last spring, I shared what the Lord had done for me in overcoming an eating disorder with area youth groups.  At...

They Chose America

If I could sing, I would sing this song.My grandmother woke up in Bivonaa small village in Sicily.Nutrition was poorMeat was scarce.The land was dry.The hot wind blew dust in all directionsas it rested on her faceTwo babies died at her breasther body...

Poopy, Yet Satisfied

Today did not quite go as planned. Working part-time means Fridays are a day not tied up at school.For the first time in my life, I have an unstructured day at homewith a plethora of choices. Laundry.Cleaning.Writing.Getting 'caught...

Boys and the Game of Clue

Mom, are you coming to my game tomorrow night?A common question in our busy house.  Usually the child asking is wanting to know how s/he's getting home from the event.With more children than parents in our family, it's been our protocol that at least one parent...

Marathon Training, For Real

Sunday I ran 10.5 miles.  In two weeks, a friend and I are tackling our bucket listsby running a half-marathon along Lake Shore Drive.The caveat?I'm not a runner. I'm reminded of this every time I endure a long run, training for...

August 17, Our Day that Lives in Infamy

December 6, 1941 marks the lives of an entire generation.  The day that lived in infamy as President Franklin Delano Roosevelt declared.  A day that changed lives forever.For most of us there's a day  A day...

Is Jesus Enough

I've been challenged by the satisfaction I would really have if Jesus was all I had.This post is featured today at Circle of Friends. When all is stripped away, it's just us and Jesus.www.thewomanthang.com

For That Which was Stolen

I'm linking up with Ann Voskamp in making gratitude a habit.This week, we filed our first police report. We woke up Wednesday realizing our 4-wheeler was gone.  Not misplaced, but gone.  Taken quietly in the night, just yards from a German...

Confessions of A Working Mom

This morning I'm sitting in my bedroom with the door locked, realizing if I walk out the door I'm going to lose it. Do you ever feel that way?This morning reminds me of when I was a stay-at-home-mom and woke up anticipating some quiet moments to myself ....time...

Bricks Without Straw, For Real?

Has God ever asked or called you to do something, and after stepping out in obedience, the situation got worse or God seemed absent?This was Moses' story as he approached Pharaoh with the request to worship His God in the desert with the slaves of...

Featured Devotional at Circle of Friends

I had the privilege recently to meet several women who are a part of the Circle of Friends ministry.  This is an outstanding team of women who authentically minister to women, encouraging relationships of accountability, integrity, honesty, and...

The New Normal - Thoughts to Working Moms

Ten years ago, I went from being a full-time, stay-at-home-mom for eleven years to a full-time teacher of high school students. A rude awakening to say the least. Over the last few years, several people have asked, 'How do you do it?' While I'm not an expert,...

The Intimacy of God

'And when they heard the Lord was concerned about them and had seen their misery, they bowed and worshiped Him.'  Exodus 4:31.I'm wondering if you need to hear this today....the Lord is concerned about you and has seen your misery. This verse ended my quiet...

Cleaning Out Closets

I need to spend some time cleaning out my closet.Getting rid of clothes that don't fit. Pulling out clothes I have no business wearing any more, Making room for fortysomething clothes that are much more comfortable and appropriateThe process is spiritually...

If I Gave Out Medals....

I'm linking up with Janette at Janette's Sage for the spirit of the Olympics to give readers a thumbnail look at some of our best posts.This blog is a space to experience life together.  I don't know if these posts are necessarily my best, but they are...

You’re Not in Kansas Anymore

'We're not in Kansas anymore, Toto' rang through my head last night as I crawled into bed.  I tossed and turned for quite a while until I realized what was bothering me.IMBd.comI'm just a little bit scared.I received the packet in the mail yesterday for...

The Faith of a Lawn Sprinkler

I live in one of the designated disaster areas for the record-breaking drought much of the country is experiencing.  Most of the crops on our farm are irrigated, which is a blessing to say the least.  The rest of the landscape is golden, like wheat ready to...

Forty-Something Things I Should Do

My friend's daughter, Erin, challenged her blog readers to link up things to do in the coming year, reflecting their age.  Sweet, charming Erin listed twenty-six.  So, I challenged myself to come up with......forty-something.  Here is goes!1. Read...

How Much Are You Withholding?

Filling out tax forms is an adventure. I've filled out several lately because I provide behavioral services for various entities. The question becomes, 'How much should I withhold?' when, in reality, I want all of it.Affection and encouragement are like taxes in the...

Great Writers & Encouragers

Several weeks ago, my friend Tracy at My Daily Walk in His Grace gave me the Versatile Blogger Award.  I want to thank Tracy for this honor, and I would like for you to visit her encouraging blog and share in her truths of God's word.  I would also...

If I Could Write I Country Song......

If I could write a country song, it'd go a little like this.....You know your life is lame when, on a Friday night,you're up waiting for your family to come home with two goats tied to the back of a pick-upAnd you're excited.You know you need to buy grocerieswhen...

The Power of 1-800-Real Person, Please.

In between calf shows at fair on Monday, I spent my day on the phone with Delta Airlines. At 11:00 pm Sunday night in Detroit,Senorita Mtn. Dweller's luggage did not arrive with her because she was supposed to arrive in South Bend....

Coming Down from the Moutain

Tomorrow, my daughter's coming home from the mountains of Zacapa, Guatemala. While we're excited to have her home, I know she's left part of her heart in Zacapa.  God has been faithful in affirming her desire to work in long-term mission work sometime in her...

Small Deeds + God’s Word = Amazing Power

With this in mind, we constantly pray for you, that our God may make you worthy of his calling, and that by his power he may bring to fulfillment your every desire for goodness and your every deed prompted by faith. 12 We pray this so...

The Vision

Three years ago  Life Beyond the Picket Fence   was developed because my dream of a picket-fence life was shattered.'   I was a woman wrestling with life, people, faith, God, and myself.  I wondered if there were any  other women out...

Life Beyond the Picket Fence

Three years ago Life Beyond the Picket Fence (www.brendayoder.org) was developed with because I was living a life that shattered the image of 'how things should be.' I was a woman wrestling with life, people, faith, God, and myself. I wondered if there were any...

Life Beyond the Picket Fence

Seasons

If I were writing a book chapter, it would be titled seasons.  Changing seasons.  So much has been happened in our life the last 5 years, even more in the last few months.  Sometimes, individual days make my head spin.Seasons come and seasons go....

Good Investments with Big Returns

“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal.  But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break...

I Married Mr. Green Jeans

Farmer Ron comes home tomorrow.  Yippee Aye A!  I'm not dissing the bonding time Chocolate the Goat and I have had during our morning and evening milking times, but Obe Won and I are anxious to be demoted from full-time to part-time farmhands.Besides, my...

Just Call Me Hormonal. Or Not.

Since this blog page is pink,  I get to be a little hormonal today.  Pinkandfortysomething I am, so I'm exerting my emotionallness.I'm been emotional lately.Not because I'm a basketcase (been there, done that).But I've found tears naturally...

A Place Called Home

So, she calls this place home, in the mountains many miles away.  Read about it at A Place Called Home.www.thewomanthang.com

Fresh Encouragement

I want to share a blog post written by a classmate and young woman I had the honor to mentor while I was in graduate school.   She and her husband, Kyle, are devoted to full time ministry and have chosen to adopt their first child.  Read their story...

What’s Your Story?

The other day I shared testimony of God's grace in my life with someone who is wondering if God is real and if He is good.Recently I've been challenged to write out my testimony, which has been both challenging and humbling. But I'm thankful to put into words the...

Milestone for the Middler

This afternoon, my third child, second son, will be celebrating his 8th grade graduation.A milestone, for sure.  One I must be intentional to celebrate with him and for him.This is our third 8th grade graduation.  Our son is a true middle child. Middle...

Confessions of a Walmart Shopping List

On my way home from school, I stopped at Walmart. Confessions of a Walmart shopping list for those forty-something.1. Beeline to foot care section.  Those nifty pads for warts that grow on the bottom of your feet.  Ewe gross.  But looking at all...

Well-Rounded Recknecks are We

It's 7:30 am, I've delivered a child to the school for a tennis tourney today.Another child was picked up by friends to go to a gun show (we are good Mennonites, another story), Papa Ron's getting the farm truck ready so the BFG can take the goats to...

Good-bye is a Four Letter Word

Just in time to say good-bye.That's just about how much time we'll have, my daughter and I, as she comes home from college this week, only to turn back around to leave for Guatemala for the summer.'I'm ready to come home but not ready to say good-bye' she...

The Dog Ate My Chicken

Today I've watched the youngest run a race, watched three tennis matches, been to Walmart for weekly groceries for 6, got the BFG off to take his SAT's, got last minute items for the girl going to the jungle for the summer,  and before I get the BFG off to prom,...

Faith in Practice

Faith.  I'm starting to learn a little more about this.  In one of my recent blogs, I wrote about a dehumidifier, taking the unseen from the air and turning it into something tangible.Principles are great unless you put them into practice.Today, I am...

Snow Boots, Donny Osmond, and My Home Town

Today I ran the streets of my home town.  Every street.  All 15 of them (I think).  Puppy and I ran up and down and streets I used to know like the back of my hand.  On spring nights like tonight, I used to grab my banana bike with the white basket...

Hope Beyond the Picket Fence

When I first started writing this blog, it was part of my own journey, processing a life that wasn't what I anticipated.  It was grasping at someone (anyone) out there in Christendom whose life wasn't perfect.You know, the picket fence thing?It was an attempt to...

The Power of Dad

When I was cleaning yesterday, Harold caught my eye.Harold's been sitting on my husband's dresser for......years It's in the spot where he keeps his 'important things'a sacred place I don't disturb but once-a-hardly-ever'Dad can fix anything'Echoed in...

Loser Mom Wins Again

“Brenda, are you picking the kids up?”Shoot.  Here I thought I was doing well…I had muffins in the oven, was getting ready to put the fish in the broiler…just got home from the office and a meeting…older boys and hubby wouldn’t be home from their practices...

Hey, Look!

I'm a great multi-tasker.I can easily do a lot of things at one time because(heaven forbid)I would waste some time, or rest or something.But I'm quickly finding out in my fortysomething world that I'll be one of those grandmas who blows her house up because I...

The Lost Years

The Lost Years.Do any of you have years you would consider 'lost?'Ones you don't want to relive, yet you realize they have brought you to where you are,Good or bad?At one point in my life, I read a book that was like a life preserver when I felt I was drowning in a...

Just Like Miss USA: Princess and the Like

First grader:  'My mom travels for her job, just like Miss USA.'This gave me the biggest smile today.  I wondered if my kids equate the work I do to being a glamorous beauty queen.  The last few years I scrubbed floors for other people....I wonder if...

French Women Don’t Get Fat and other Aging Blunders

I'm not too fond of New Year's Resolutions.  I'm a no-nonsense girl - if it doesn't happen in normal life, then why should it with celebratory occasions?  So, when it comes to trying new things or recalibrating behavior, I just do it one day...

Obedience in a New Year

' He directed two of his disciples, 'Go into the city.  A man will be carrying a water jug will meet you.  Follow him.  Ask the owner of whichever house he enters, 'The Teacher wants to know where is my guest room where I can eat the Passover with my...

Decisions, Decisions

Decisions, decisions.  While the phrase is cliche, to say the least, decisions can stump us, frustrate us, and bring stress we would just rather do without. They bring change, adjustment, and the unknown.This week, I'll be rejoining the workforce...

He Who Began a Good Work

'Being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on until the day of completion in Christ Jesus.'  Philippians 1:6This verse went over and over in my mind the other day as I sat with someone who had screwed up.  I ached for them...

The Blessing of Rebuilding

I'm just a natural history geek.  I like reading about the past, and I love family genealogy.  I'm the geeky one who  knows more about my husband's family history than he does because I curl up with family records for the midnight read.I'm weird...

Lies or Truth

'It was a lie....'This statement was one of the first encounters in grad school throwing me for a loop. People talking about lies and truth so confidently.  How could someone talk about lies so confidently?  I mean, how does one discern 'a lie?'Then I...

Sweet, Sweet Summertime......(Good-bye)

It's been a while since I've blogged.  Life is so full during summer time.  I'll admit I'm more of a writer/encourager than a true blogger. I'm learning it's okay not to do things perfectly.  So my month-long absence from blog-o-sphere is growth on my...

Garage Sale Finds....and More

This week I'm selling my daughter's childhood.  Oh, not literally, but.....maybe so.This summer my college co-ed willingly gave up her bigger, pinker, orange-with-flowers-on-the-wall bedroom to her younger brother. So, over a few weeks we literally packed up and...

Fresh Paint

Summertime calls me outside when I'm not working rather than sitting at the computer. I haven't blogged much lately.  The picture outside my kitchen window explains why.  There is work to be done, and I'd rather be outside than in.Yesterday our boys were...

Complementary

My husband teaches Geometry.  One thing I remember about Geometry is complementary angles, identified in my non-math mind as two different angles that, when added together, create a whole angle.  Opposite angle + opposite angle = whole angle.The last several...

If Only’s

Recently I've been challenged by a Christian author whose perspective of womanhood is a breath of fresh air. My 'aha' moment is considering the 'If Only's' women entertain....If only I were smaller, then....If only I were smarter, then.....If only I were prettier,...

Petitioning

A little book has impacted my life in a big way recently.  I haphazardly picked it up on my 'retreat' at the bed and breakfast several weeks ago.  Hannah's Prayer by Kenneth Gividend is by my side often these days.I've been reading more about Hannah in...

Mercy (Me)

A few weeks ago I came across a little book at a Bed and Breakfast that captured my attention.  Hannah's Prayer by Kenneth Gividen was a must buy on Amazon and I haven't put it down since.  It  discusses eight principles of effective Christianity...

Holding Things Loosely

The past two weeks have been intense.  Deadlines, hard work, benchmarks to complete. Time becomes precious.....not enough of it, diligent in spending it wisely, eager to have it pass....longing to hold on to it.In the midst of life the last several weeks,...

A New Lesson to Learn: Being Still

In the blogosphere, there's a lot of about household management, parenting etc.  Today I'm writing about a simple dilemma of time:  Trying to decide what to do seven days called 'spring break' do I clean out closets that are well over do?do I wash down...

From Angels to Armies: He’s Got the Last Word

Jesus has the last word on everything and everyone, from angels to armies.  He's standing right along side God, and what He says goes.  I Peter 3:21 (The Message)I'm an observer of people.  Not in a creepy, stalker type of way, but in a...

Missing in Action?

Not one is missing, not one forgotten.God the Father has his eye on each of youand has determined by the work of the Spiritto keep you obedient through the sacrifice of Jesus.May everything good from God be yours!      I Peter 1:1-2, The...

Grace: The Great Exchange

In the past week I've talked to two women who have temporarily walked away from organized church.  For both of them, it's been mainly because they are struggling with things and have felt judgment or been told to 'just read your bible more' from well-meaning...

Stubborn Cow.....

A professor, Dr. Matt Miller, opened class once with the scene from 1 Samuel 6 where the Ark of the Covenant is returned to Israel after being carried away by the Philistines. He brought to life verses 7-12, which otherwise might seem pretty uneventful in the broader...

Life (&%*#) Happens

      Outside my window these days I see nothing but white with shades of gray. Snow everywhere the eye can see blends into a murky white sky. For a few days this scene seems tranquil, serene and picturesque.      The rest of...

A Way Out.

'No temptation has seized you, except what is common to man.  And God is faithful: he will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you can bear.  But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way for you so you are able to stand under it.'  1...

Free!

Freedom.I recently spent some time with God discussing freedom and release.What freedom brings for me today may be different than you.But bringing things to Him makes our countenance lighter.Focus seems more poignant on the Savior than self.Our Savior is one who...

God’s Greatest Principle

Everything's permissible, but not everything's beneficial.  Everything is permissible, but not everything is constructive.    1 Corinthians 10:23.I guess as far as life verses go, this would be mine. I shared it with one of my teenagers today, and I...

A Peek Inside

I'm not sure where to start today.I started this particular blog for women almost a year ago.  I've grown quite a bit in the process.I was rather fearful in the beginning for a million reasons, but something a fellow blogger said...

Passion Revisited

2011. I've been avoiding blogging this past week, not that I have been for lack of things to write.  It's making the effort from the brain to the keyboard, editing, etc.....I've been on vacation.  'Nuf said.Today, I watched Francis Chan speak via live stream...

Christmas Beyond the Picket Fence

Christ-mas.To the cashier at the store today, who listens of chit chat of holiday gatherings, yet hers is not one to chat about.  Two sons, one killed in an accident two years ago, the other in jail.Today, May she know the Christ of ChristmasTo the woman who...

No Time to Say Hello, Goodbye....

Hurry, Hurry, Hurry.This seems to be the revolving door our life has become in the past several years.Hurry, Hurry, Checklist, on to the Next Thing.Be Still and Know that I am God.In recent weeks, I have become to realize how wired I have become...

What’s Love Got to Do with It?

Delight Yourself In the Lord (Psalm 37:4)My mentor mentioned this to me this week.Delight yourself in the Lord.As I have been dwelling on this concept, I keep coming back to the first commandment...Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your mind, with...

Road Kill, Billy Goats, and Butcher Knives. All in a Week’s work.

Some days you need to reflect on the humor in life, not the discouraging moments.  Today is one of those days where I need to remind myself of the brighter side of life, so here are the echoes from the Yoder house.Yesterday we had five 10 year old boys here for...

Life is Crap (and Other Skewed Theology)

Today I was window shopping at some local stores, and something caught my eye.  I walked back to look at what I thought I saw.  It was what I thought I saw:A t-shirt brand name - Life Is Crap - complete with a logo of a bird flying over and pooping on...

Stella, the Goat, is Dead

Stella, the goat, is dead. I was asked what brought about this tragedy on Facebook, so I thought I'd post it here for my weekly post. Well, Stella, our older milking goat,...

It’s All in the Timing

This morning I was reading in Luke, chapter one.  Not because it's Advent, but because I am falling in love with the gospels. I just got done reading Mark and have been mesmerized by the sights and sounds of life with Jesus.   For some reason, reading them...

Pleasant Boundaries

I'm an advocate of Dr. Henry Cloud's book, Boundaries, and other specific books he has written on interpersonal and relationship boundaries.  I'm a visual learner, so I 'get' the visual picture of boundaries.  I use this concept a lot with clients I work...

Unwritten Rules of Man

My husband and sons are Detroit Lions and Tigers fans.  Life on Sunday afternoons revolve around these games if they are playing on TV.Scene today:All three (husband, two boys) watch the first half of the game.  I try to be 'involved' by inquiring about how...

Detox

Detox.This week I'm doing this detox thing which is supposed to get rid of toxins, bodily waste, bloating, etc.....all the symptoms I seem to be plagued with these days.Gotta love the aging process.I don't know whether it will work or not, but I like the idea of...

Field of Dreams

I spent time at an 'Out of the Box' Career Day symposium for high school girls today.  What a blessed day.  A couple dozen women in non-traditional careers for women...welderspastorsfuneral directorsenvironmental scientistsheavy machine operatorspolice...

Lessons from a Dog Named Rover

The other day I was traveling the interstate across Indiana.  I was following a pickup truck with a dog on the back of the truckbed.   Rover seemed to be having a good ole time on the back of the truck, but seemed frustrated as he paced back and forth...

Sufficient Grace

This evening, I'm thinking of the Prodigal son, well, really it's his father.I came home today and had the most welcomed hug I have ever experienced.  Tears ran down my face as I tried not to be obvious. The person I was hugging doesn't like tears.I welcomed...

The Apprentice

In the past week, the Lord has reconciled some relationships I have longed for, but not because of anything I did.  I have been humbled to see the role of prayer in the process, along with the Holy Spirit.  While I have been blessed by the restored...

Friendship Skills (According to 3rd Graders)

This is what I learned today as an elementary counselorFriendship Skills According to 3rd Graders1. Apologize2. Give 'Em Another Chance.3. Forgive4. Be KindI couldn't write a blog with more eloquent words. I'm not much smarter than a third...

The Not So Ugly Swan

Every week on my way to grad school, I drive past one of the most 'po-dunk' towns as my mother would call it.  A small, forgotten little town with perhaps twenty homes, an old gristmill, and a lake....or a pond....or a hole in the ground with water.....something...

Does It Have A Spoon?

This week I received the first phone call from my daughter (twelve hours away at college) with those tears of 'I want to come home.'So, I opened up the drawer of things I have stashed to send to her each week.  Things I collect when I see something that...

The Need

Needy.This word describes most people I am presently working with.  They are all women, and they are needy.  Emotional needy, spiritually needy, financially needy.In my present nature of work, I cannot readily prayer with them, but I am learning to...

Greater Is He

This week has been an unbelievable week of spiritual victories, followed by obvious spiritual oppression. Greater is He that is within you, than he that is in the world. (1 John 4:4) It's been a week mandated by prayer.....and as a result.....spiritual attack....

Blessings of Rebellious Obedience

This week I was assigned to pray with my spouse one hour a week for the next 18 weeks.I was a little perturbed, disturbed, rebellious.I don't like being told what to do.  I don't want to be graded on praying with my husband.Just a little infringement on the...

Here Comes the Bride

I heard a radio message this week on 'Revive Our Heart' (Nancy Leigh DeMoss) about how marriage is representative of the gospel.Being the visual thinker I am, I have been pondering this all week.  How marriage of the Bride and the Bridegroom is similar to the...

Timeless Definition of Success

To Laugh Often    To win respect of intelligent people         and the affection of children.To hear the appreciation of honest critics     and endure betrayal of false friends.To appreciate BeautyTo find the best...

Heaven on Earth

Friends are one of the greatest blessings this side of heaven.This is what I thought the other day as I walked away from time with a friend.A friend who knows you well, yet encourages you in the Lord.A friend who knows nothing of competition, jealousies or other girl...

Back To School

I could write about saying good-bye to my firstborn, the scene forever etched in my mind.I could write reflections on it, but I'm ready yet.I could write about our adventurous trip over the mountain and back.or I could write about what life will be like now with a...

Things I’m Glad I Did & Things I Would Have Done Different

In 3 days, I will be taking my firstborn off to college.            12 hours away.        My only girl.        Enough said.Things I'm Glad I DidWas home full-time to watch her grow...

Chinos, High Heels, Cougars, and Menopause

Today my daughter and I went shopping.  My goal - 'elementary' pants....i.e....chinos comfortable to wear during my internship as an elementary school counselor.  My wardrobe presently consists of high school teacher pants, of which I need to wear heels...

Big Request or Little Expectation?

This morning I'm meeting with some ladies to talk about a bible study for women,     one where women feel safe (you mean no gossip?)     one where women develop of hunger for His word     one where women of any church,...

Woman of Influence: Naomi Eash Raber

One of the influential women in scripture is a woman named Naomi.  Usually we hear about her daughter-in-law, Ruth, whose story is told in the book bearing her name – a story of devotion, graceful character, and beauty.  However, Naomi’s story is also woven...

“Just How Far Have We Come, Baby?”

While in the Dominican Republic last week, I made the comment to a fellow group member,       'I could not live in a sexist society.'I'm not a feminist as in 'men and women are the same' feminism, but I am for equal opportunities, differences in...

A Time to (re)Define

Redefine.This word entered my vocabulary Wednesday when a friend and I were discussing what it meant for us now to be parents of adult children, wanting a balance of mentoring, being available and nurturing while fostering independence and appropriate 'letting go.'...

Barnyard Theology: Power of Hope and Encouragement

This last week I was intern by day and dairy maid by night.  The same week my internship started, my husband and older two children were gone on a mission trip to North Carolina.  This left me and my ten and twelve year old boys home alone to hold down the...

The Dangerous World of Perception

I've heard the word perception lately in conversations. Non-Christian and Christian conversations. Perception is a dangerous word. 'It's all about perception.'  one person said'Oh, that's just how you perceived them.' another person said'Over...

When Does Mommy Get to Graduate?

Last night I was shopping at Meijer, a superstore open 24 hours.  After a full day of research, cleaning someone's house (my only paid job), running two miles, internship stuff, I returned home to cook...something.....I realized we were in need of 'real'...

Seriously, the Woman Thang we all Do.

So, I had high hopes today of writing a blog post. I have had so many things in my mind lately.  But, here I am, an hour and a half after sitting down to type required paperwork, neglected email, and I look at the clock.If I am to be ready to be at an appointment...

He’s Deep

Day Two of Gender and Sexuality. Assignment: Interview a person of the opposite sex, and write a five page paper.       I am a girl, so I will interview the nearest male I have access to, my husband, who is a man of few words, and non-reflective....

Prom Night

The last several weeks have been overkill with girl stuff - mom stuff, daughter stuff, woman stuff.  Topic One: Prom Night       I have to say I really don't like Prom....it's over-rated, very expensive, and always full of drama. There always...

Identity Truths

Ladies, a note to you today, where ever today finds you.  As women, you are    Blessed  (Ephesians 1:3)        Chosen  (Ephesians 1:4)             Adopted  (Ephesians...

Encouragement for Tarnished Mom’s on Mother’s Day

I've written a post at His Story, www.brendayoderblogspot.com for Mother's Day - for all mothers who feel a little 'tarnished' this Mother's Day.  Check it out, and Happy Mother's Day, where ever this post finds you this year!www.thewomanthang.com

Women of Influence.....The Graduates

I want to honor two Women of Influence in my life this week, because they are each graduating from different venues of learning.  Great women - please read on:Woman of Influence: RoseRose Wierzba is graduating with a Master's Degree in Counseling on Saturday. She...

How She Feels Loved

When done with this blog post, I'm putting away my laptop for a few days and bringing out my sewing machine.  Not a task I'm excited to do.  I can sew, but I also can cook - doesn't mean I like to do either of them, but I like the finished...

Philosophy on Women: It’s all in How You Handle the String

'I'm sorry I burnt out one of your lights last night.  I know that if one goes out the whole string goes out.  It's then hard for me to find out which one went.  I'll try to take better care of the whole string and treat it more gently.'This came in an...

In My Spare Time, I Raise Boys

Scene 1: I get a call today from Teenage Boy, Now Driving.   'Mom, I am filling the van up with gas but the gas just goes for a little bit and then stops.'  Mother asks questions, questions, and more questions.   Then says, 'You...

Poop Pellets and Other Hazards of Living Here

So, you know you're not in California anymore when walking along a road a semi-truck whizzes by and blows dried horse poop up on your legs and face.These are just some of the adventures living in Wana World. And hazards, depending on the mood. Others...I walk out my...

Women of Influence: And the Winner Is......

A lot of blogs have themes to them on a certain day. This blog is devoted to women - encouraging one another in life, whether through humor, pain, similar paths, or walking the journey together. I am commiting to feature 'Women of Influence' periodically, women...

Stolen Identity - Which Mommy Are You?

It's safe to say I've had a major identity crisis ever since becoming a mom: I 've been a 'stay at home mom' (I've always hated that term) during the mommy-wars of the 1990's, raising four babies. I've been a working mom (I've always hated that term), teaching high...

Ethel Saved Our Marriage, and Other Hollywood Adventures

Well, it's day 5 of our Family Vacation, and so far so good, other than the usual pecking order stuff (parent irritates child, child irritates child younger than them, down the pecking order 4x until parent scolds someone in the mix). And it's all due to Ethel. Ethel...

Family Vacation: Where’s Aunt Edna?

Family Vacation.  A time of memories and excitement.  I have to admit, as a mother of four, I look forward to going, but always have reservations.Somehow when we go on vacation, I feel like I'm in charge of a whole army.  Responsibility in the nth...

Gender Stuff

So, I'm sitting here in the breezy sunshine, so full of thoughts, yearning for time to process them all, but a few notes before I rush off to class.God is so good.  He works, He moves, and is in control, always.  I have been so blessed by women in my life,...

Psycho VooDoo and the Like: Is Your Love Enough?

'Is Your love enough?'I asked this of the Lord this morning, or He asked it of me ('Is my love enough?) after reading John 14: 14-31.  I came to this passage this morning after a mini-meltdown last night, needing to hear words from the Holy Spirit. After reading...

The Next Leg of the Race

Well, I just came back from a 3 day trip to Virginia - two days driving 11-12 hours and one day to visit a university.  So much to take in, learning from the Lord, learning from my daughter, whose life next phase we were squaring away.  I have to be honest,...

Letting Go Just Ain’t That Simple

I am getting ready to head off for a 10 hour drive tomorrow to Virginia for a final visit to my daughter's #1 college choice. Her dad took her the first time and was texting me during their visit that he thinks this is it.  It prepared me to greet her with a...

Age Old Beauty Treatment

A wrote a post at my other blog, His Story, and wanted to share it here, too.  A short one, on God's love story with us.  Simple truths:   .From reading His Story with the Israelites, His chosen people, I stand amazed that He always comes back and loves...

“I’m a Mess, You’re A Mess, and Lord, will You Straighten Us Up?

                   Over the last eighteen months, the Lord has been taking me on an intense journey, and has been impressing me to share it with others in ministry to women.  In the midst of life – graduate...

Adventures in Babysitting - Oops! It’s the Real Thing

Junior High.  Gotta love it.  My children are roughly all three years apart, so that means I will always have one leaving junior high, and another one entering.  Yippee!  We all remember the horrors of junior high gym class, girl drama, and perhaps...

Training a Gentleman

Tonight my oldest son went to his first semi-formal dance.He'll be 16 next week, but tonight he was 15.  He's 6'2'' and I had to tuck in his shirt and fold down the collar, and.........And I drove him to pick up his friend, a beautiful young lady.  I drilled...

The Rut

In all your ways acknowledge Him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:6 We have this verse displayed on one of our living room walls, and it caught my attention this afternoon as I walked by it. Acknowledge Him, He ….makes….paths…..straight. Each word...

Confessions of a Dryell Bag WannaBe

As we were ready to walk out the door this morning, I was informed by my oldest 'There's a two hour delay.' Shoot.  I have so much to do and really wanted my kids gone (confession).  So I started laundry, wrote client notes, followed up on emails, while...

Egg = Muffins

This afternoon I got a call from one of my girlfriends saying she was going to drop a bag off. 'Ok, just put it in the garage.'When I picked it up later, inside were six large muffins with the note above:                ...

There’s an Egg on My Washer: A Day in the Life

This morning the house was finally empty as all 6 of us were home yesterday because of a snow day.  I had a 10 page paper to write, so I locked myself in the home office, in the sweats I slept in, and worked all day applying Brown's Values Based work model, while...

What It’s About

                 This spot in cyberspace is devoted to girls…eh, women….who need a place to rest, explore, be real, wrestle, and laugh.  After all the exploring and wrestling, a girl’s gotta laugh, sit in her pajamas,...