When my little girl came into the world, like your firstborn, she was all I dreamed of. But God doesn’t prepare us for the challenges of parenting, the things in our children that bring out the worst in us. God gave me a beautiful daughter with passion, a strong will, an internal sense of right and wrong, and wisdom in many ways.
All the things that reek havoc in a toddler and teenage body.
Do you have a child like that?
Even if you’re not a parent, you have relationships that challenge you. How do you handle them? Do you may shrink back, run and flee, or stay and fight?
I’m a fighter.
So is she.
“The enemy prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” 1 Peter 5:8 (NIV)
I did the best I could as a first-time parent in moments that took me by surprise. Moments where both of our wills went to head to head. Christian parenting books didn’t tell me what to do with a passionate, temperamental child. Oh, I read the books {The Strong-Willed Child}. We even taught the parenting classes {3x}. But “the right formula” didn’t work for our situation.
And the battled raged on.
As we walked, climbed, fought, got up and walked, climbed, fought again, God worked in us and through us.
I’m convinced there’s nothing separating me from the worst behavior on earth, except for the grace of God and the love I have for him.
I am a selfish creature. Are you?
When anger, bitterness, pride, insecurities, and “my rights” rule in my heart, I become a fighter that can destroy myself and relationships.
But when I choose to let the Lord of the universe change me
He trades these ugly things for His character:
Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22)
As a woman, I’ve walked a journey that’s challenged everything I thought I knew about life, God, parenting, relationships, and the picket-fence life I dreamed of.
Do you have expectations of life that have been shattered?
When the bottom fell out of my life and my family, I was faced with one choice. Choose to change or let my anger and bitterness destroy our family, my relationship with my daughter, and the hope and future God had planned for us.
A future taking His child to a mountain where she kisses His children’s tears.
A future where she runs to her Father for her identity and security.
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It’s easy to fight when it comes naturally.
But it’s hard when you’re fighting to change destructive behavior and trying to hold on to what’s most important in life.
Family, relationships and your character.
Are there behaviors you need to change that are impacting your health and the relationships around you?
There is hope.
Hope for our relationship came when I realized I couldn’t change her or anyone else in the equation. I could only change myself and what I could control.
I’m a fighter, so I fought for change.
I’m passionate, so I ran after God, declaring God’s work and presence I believe He promises in His word.
I’m strong, so I pushed through the guilt, shame, insecurities, worry, and judgment I wanted to run from.
Qualities the enemy meant for destruction, but God meant for good.
It was worth it all.
I’m redeemed by a God who knows the good, the bad, and the ugly, and still loves me.
I’m restored in relationships with my daughter and family. My sons know Jesus is real because they’ve seen two lives transformed before their eyes.
I’m a sinner saved by grace.
That’s really all I know.
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Each of us have battle wounds of some sort.
We can take those battle wounds and submit them to the work of the Living God. Or we can pick at the scars, preventing them from fully healing, keeping them alive and well so the pain never goes away.
How are you taking care of your wounds today? Are you choosing to let God heal them, or do you continue to let them fester and deprive your soul of peace?
It’d be my privilege to pray for you, no matter what your wound, no matter what you’re needing to fight to over come, not matter what relationship that needs to be restored. Email me at yoderbl@gmail.com. It would be my honor to bring you before the throne of God in prayer as your prayer warrior.
Thank you for listening, for reading, for sharing part of our journey. I share my full “Hope Beyond the Picket Fence” story of hope and restoration with audiences throughout the Midwest. It would be my privilege to share it with your women’s group, mom’s group, or church group to bring encouragement in areas that people are afraid and shamed to talk about. Email me at yoderbl@gmail.com if you would like more information.
Dear Jesus, that you for your love, your grace, the hope that you give us in our weaknesses and failures. Thank you that you are the hope we have for change in areas we need to change. Thank you that you created everything about us and you have the capacity to turn our weaknesses to strengths for your honor and glory. Thank you for the restorative work you do in our lives, and that your mercies are new every morning.
We love you, Lord Jesus, our redeemer and friend. Amen.
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