5 Ways to Protect and Defend Your Marriage and Family

Sep 17, 2018 | Faith, Parenting

Be sober, be vigilant, because your adversary the devil walks around like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. 1 Peter 5:8, KJV

The Holy Spirit is a gentleman, but your adversary, the devil, is not. He is the enemy of God and wants to steal, kill, and destroy marriages and families who belong to and glorify Christ.

Has the enemy attacked your marriage with strife, adultery, pornography, disconnection, conflict, anger, or indifference? Has your family experienced attacks with a plethora of destructive behaviors impacting your kids?

Actively Engaged

Satan does not have power over Christ-followers. You may be attacked, but your enemy, the devil, is defeated. Jesus Christ defeated him on the cross by the shedding of his blood as the sacrifice for sin. He defeated death by his resurrection.

Though Christ is the victor, God requires Christ followers to be actively engaged in spiritual battles. In Ephesians 5, Scripture says our battle is not against flesh and blood, but against rulers and principalities in the spiritual realm. We’re instructed to put on the armor of God so we can withstand the fiery darts of the enemy. 

In Fledge, I wrote that we women are warriors, the protector and defender of our homes. Here are 5 practical ways to defend your marriage and family in the spiritual battle God’s already won!

5 practical ways to defend your marriage and family

1. Claim your position as a child of God through a relationship with his Son, Jesus Christ. Power over Satan is yours through a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. It is through this relationship that the enemy of God is defeated. When you accept Jesus Christ as your Savior, his shed blood is what the enemy has to contend with. You are covered by his blood which has power over the enemy.

2. Be the protector of your marriage and family. In Psalm 127, God calls us to be warriors who protect our marriages and families from the enemy. One of the sneakiest ways the enemy infiltrates families is through compromise. American Christianity is full of compromises. Ask God where you are compromising or allowing compromise to happen in your marriage or family life. 

3. Be the defender of your family. Protecting and defending are different actions. Protecting is to keep safe through preservation. Defending is to keep safe through fighting off the attack.

How to defend your family

How do you defend yourself, your marriage, and family in spiritual battles?

  • Speak the name of Jesus Christ out loud and rebuke the enemy’s attack. Something like, “In the name of Jesus Christ, you have no authority over my family, marriage, etc. We are protected by the blood of Christ and you are to go to the cross of Jesus to be judged.”
  • Walk through every room in your house or walk the perimeter of your property, declaring your position as a daughter of Jesus Christ. Proclaim that His blood covers your marriage and family.
  • When you say Jesus’ name out loud, demons flee. They flee at the praise of Jesus Christ. It is through the power of Jesus’ name you defend your family. Tell the enemy who you are in Christ to remind him of his defeated position. Declare that Jesus Christ is your Lord!

4. Be responsible for your sin. Overcoming a spiritual battle is more than claiming and declaring, you must take care of the real issues which are harming your marriage and family. Your partner or child is not the exclusive one to blame. Do you wrestle with bitterness? Anger? Unforgiveness? Your right to control? Boundaries you’re crossing emotionally or sexually with another person?

Be responsible for your part. Sin gives birth when we allow ourselves to be tempted. James 1 says by our own evil desire we are dragged away and enticed. After desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin.

God gives us choice between temptation and sin. The enemy may tempt us, but you and I choose steps that take us closer to sin or closer to God. 

5. Let the Holy Spirit work in you. Christians have the power of the living God inside of us through the presence of the Holy Spirit! The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness and self control. We protect and defend our families and marriages when we allow the Holy Spirit to work in us and through us. The power of the Spirit in us gives us boldness and power to overcome what the enemy tries to destroy.

Friends, the enemy has an increasing stronghold in our culture. Will you take your warrior position as defender and protector? Your children need you to. Your marriage needs you to, and so does your community.

Father, equip each of us to be a protector and defender of our families. Teach us where we need to be bold. Work in us where we need to let the Spirit take control. Give us the words and actions to claim our position as your children, behind your lead and under your authority. Thank you for having the last and final Word, in the person of Jesus Christ, in all spiritual battles. Amen. 

If you haven’t purchased the handbook on raising kids according to Psalm 127, get your copy of Fledge: Launching Your Kids Without Losing Your Mind. Join us for the original broadcast of this topic at the Fledge Parent Facebook Forum!


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  1. MJ Smith

    I like this Brenda! Straightforward and to the point! I will be posting the link to my fb women’s groups immediately! Thanks! MJ Smith

  2. Darlene Jance Harris

    This is great! Can I use it in my October project?

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