Today’s my 26th anniversary. Our marriage can be defined as “My Big Fat Greek Wedding,” only it’s Italian Girl Marries Mennonite Farmboy. I was going to write eloquent thoughts, but the post “25 Reasons Why I Suck At Marriage After 25 Years” was sitting in my dashboard. I think I wrote it a few months ago when it was a “Marriage is hard work” day. Or when I was hormonal. Or just being a jerk.
So here are 25 reasons marriage is hard, and then I’m posting 26 reasons marriage is good after all these years.
25 Reasons I Stink at Marriage after 25 Years:
1. I’m selfish.
2. I’m selfish and I’m married to another person who’s selfish.
3. I like being right.
4. I still have hurts like a little girl.
5. Sometimes all I want is a knight in shining armor.
6. I’m a counselor, so listen to me.
7. I get focused on myself and how he’s supposed to meet my needs.
8. I need my space.
9. And lots of space.
10. And then some more.
11. I still default to 50/50 instead of 100%.
12. Roman Brady always had the right words and look in the eyes.
13. I take my eyes off of Jesus and look at what’s missing.
14. I look at the “you-should’s” instead of the “thank-you’s.”
15. Romance was left in year 9 along with the body that still felt sexy.
16. Some days I’m exhausted mentally.
17. Therefore, I’m exhausted physically.
18. And Vice versa.
19. I don’t like to cook.
20. One small meltdown can bring me down.
21. Being mom and wife gets mixed up sometimes.
22. Four kids demand my attention more.
23. I’m really blunt.
24. I like to talk and he doesn’t.
25. I’m selfish.
Here are 26 things I like about marriage after 26 years.
1. I’m glad days like those above are less than more.
2. He supports me.
3. He really does understand, because it shows up when it’s important.
4. So I’m more okay when it seems like he doesn’t.
5. He still thinks I’m sexy even when I don’t feel like it.
6. When our kids are together, modeling values we’ve taught them, nothing else really matters.
7. He is in my bed every night.
8. He trusts in God.
9. I can laugh at our differences.
10. Because we are different, and that’s okay.
11. I like to hold his hand every once in a while. It make me feel secure.
12. He gives me my space.
13. And more when I need it.
14. He doesn’t put me down.
15. He cooks when I’m tired.
16. He is a good dad to our daughter.
17. He’s a good dad to our sons.
18. I want him to be a grandpa to our grandkids.
19. He makes me laugh, even when it’s annoying.
20. He understands when I say, “My period started today.”
21. We can drive for 4 hours in silence and I feel comfortable.
22. He drives 5 hours to get me an exercise bike he bought on ebay.
23. Because he knows fitness is important to me.
24. He is kind.
25. Our kids will be gone soon, and I’m learning to like him.
26. He still loves me, even when I’m selfish.
What have you learned from marriage?