So you’re thirty something. It’s a great place to be. You’re still young, but not-so-young is on the horizon. You’re more grounded than ever. But it’s weird. You’re not that young kid any more. You have kids of your own. And you wonder.
You wonder if you’re doing things right, if you’re screwing your kids up when you screw up.
You wonder when you’ll lose that baby fat, or when your baby will stop whining. Or when they’ll stop growing up so fast.
You wonder if your husband still is attracted to you, or if you still have it when the guy at Starbucks flirts with you.
You wonder if you’re missing out if you don’t help with the homeroom party, or if your daughter will miss out if she doesn’t have her own phone.
You wonder what the playgroup moms think of you, and some days you wonder who in the world you are.
Your mind is busy wondering, and your hands are busy working.
Can we talk?
It’s okay. Really, everything’s going to be okay. Your kids will be okay. And when they aren’t, you’ll get through it. It will make you stronger, wiser, and draw you closer to God.
Your marriage? It’ll be hard. And you’ll have to work through it. You’ll have to look at the big picture and choose a lifetime over a moment. You’ll have to forgive, heal, and decide what’s really worth fighting over.
Your house doesn’t need to be perfect. Your kids need a home, not a Pinterest page. Leave the crumbs. Forget the gourmet coffee maker. Your plates don’t have to match your window treatments. You’re not a loser when they don’t.
You’ll be embarrassed. Your kid will do THAT stupid thing and people will make dumb comments. But your kid needs you to see past that and give them truth outside of what people think. They’re looking to you for perspective. Step back. Breathe. Let them know it’ll be okay. Then believe it.
You’ll be talked about. A jealous friend will gossip. An insecure co-worker will point out your weaknesses. The bible study girls will leave you out and the bleacher mom will make you feel incompetent. But it’ll be okay, too. They’re all where you are, too. Feeling confident one moment, and insecure the next.
So enjoy. Enjoy the ability to bear children, even though having one is the last thing you want to do.
Don’t doubt yourself. Don’t worry about the gossip or shallow friendships. A few years from now, you won’t judge each other as much because you’ll each have scars of some sort. Not baby scars, but life scars. In the next ten years, things will happen. The mundane, the hard, the moments when reality is far from your today-dreams. So let it go.
Build the foundation of your faith and that of your family. Of all the things demanding your time, God and His word are most important. It strengthens what you know about Him and prepares you for the Unknown, which will, at sometime, be hard. If you strive for anything, let it be Him before money, popularity, or people’s praise.
Thirty is good. It’s a decade of busy, of striving, and figuring it out. It will go fast. Your kids will grow, and you will, too.
So breathe. Embrace and enjoy.
It will all be okay.
Lean into Jesus above all things.
Thank you soon much for this post! I needed to hear this.