In two weeks,
a friend and I are tackling
our bucket lists
by running a half-marathon
along Lake Shore Drive.
The caveat?
I’m not a runner.
I’m reminded of this
every time I endure a long run,
training for something
I never thought I’d do.
When running these distances,
my mind thinks
about
addictions.
My own
those struggling,
and heartbroken parents.
With each step I take,
my life flashes before me.
I’m not a runner,
but I’m a fighter.
Overcoming addictive behavior
is hard work.
It’s a long road.
Often you feel like giving up.
Thinking you won’t make it.
You search for the easy out.
You tell yourself
you’re not cut out for victory.
You justify stopping
when the pain gets too much
and you don’t think
you can go
another step.
Years ago
I was faced with a choice.
I had been taking the easy way out
through adolescence
and young adulthood
and young adulthood
with an addiction to food
that I managed by purging.
Addiction and shame defined me.
I decided
to put my big girl panties on
and address the hell
that held me captive.
I didn’t want to bring
my addiction
and disordered eating
into my marriage.
So I set my eyes towards Jesus,
the Author and Perfecter
of my faith (Hebrews 12),
of my faith (Hebrews 12),
literally.
I made a covenant
with Him
that I would try.
Try to face
the destructive way
I handled food,
my body,
my soul and spirit.
I promised Him
I would tackle
the emotional, mental,
and spiritual components
of an eating disorder.
Just like setting out
for a 10 mile run,
this was a long,
painstaking journey.
painstaking journey.
I started out slow,
one foot in front of the other.
Like running a long distance,
there were times I felt invincible,
that the pace I was going
was great
and I had overcome
it all.
But then it’d get hard.
Mental hills to climb.
Exhausted emotions.
Self-talk that said,
“Just quit. It’s too hard.
Take the easy way out.”
These are the real battles
in overcoming addictive behavior.
There’s a point
where the pain
of overcoming the addiction
is harder
than living in the pain
of self-medication.
When I run, this is the point
where my legs won’t go any farther
but I still have miles to go.
It’s where my mind
starts playing games with me
saying
It’s not worth it.
It’s where
I want
to quit.
By the grace of God,
I’ve learned to push through this.
For twenty three years,
living in victory has been
one long, unending marathon.
Most days, I run at a good pace,
with the Son at my back
and an ease of healthy living,
emotionally,
spiritually, and physically.
But then I hit a long stretch
of life’s rain, hail,
storms, hills and fatigue,
and I say,
“This is too hard.”
I’m tempted to go back
to what comforts
and seems like
the easy way out.
But in looking back,
I realize how far I’ve come,
and it gives me a second wind
to continue on.
My slow, tired, pace
picks up,
and I go forward.
And my pace picks up.
Before I know it,
I’m running again.
Thirteen miles
seems daunting to me.
But one step at a time,
I know I’ll make it.
Because every day,
in His overwhelming grace
I walk a marathon of victory
One foot in front of another……..
“Let us throw off everything that hinders
and the sin that so easily entangles.
And let us run with perseverance
the race marked out for us,
fixing our eyes on Jesus,
the author and perfecter of our faith.”
Hebrews 12:1-2
“But we also glory in our sufferings,
because we know that
suffering produces perseverance,
perseverance, character,
and character, hope.
And hope does not put us to shame,
because God’s love has been poured out
into our hearts through the Holy Spirit.”
Romans 5:3-5
Lord Jesus, for every person who struggles with addiction, co-dependency, or self-harming behaviors, be their grace today to step out from under the pain and onto the road to victory. Equip them to fix their eyes on you and to throw off the chains that bind and the sin that easily entangles. Give them perseverance for the road before them, in your grace. Amen.
Lord Jesus, for every person who struggles with addiction, co-dependency, or self-harming behaviors, be their grace today to step out from under the pain and onto the road to victory. Equip them to fix their eyes on you and to throw off the chains that bind and the sin that easily entangles. Give them perseverance for the road before them, in your grace. Amen.
"Just do the next thing" is something I heard Elisabeth Elliot say years ago. It is so practical yet true. I would love to hear about your new journey! May God sustain you in what He has planned for you.
What a beautiful and inspirational post!! One foot in front of the other says alot to me as I am beginnning a new journey and there are times I want to run back to the famliar!! Thank you for sharing :)Blessings to you~Stacey