My oldest son is leaving for his senior year in college and Boy #2 is starting his first year at the university. It’s challenge raising a man in today’s culture. The standards of his world are different than they were for his dad and granddads. But certain principles are timeless no matter when you live. I wonder if I’ve 
instilled essential principles to be a future leader, worker, husband, father, and community citizen. Thinking through his upbringing, here is a non-exhaustive list of things I’m glad we did in raising boys.
instilled essential principles to be a future leader, worker, husband, father, and community citizen. Thinking through his upbringing, here is a non-exhaustive list of things I’m glad we did in raising boys.
- Allowed him to play with toys no matter how old he was.
- Expected him to play with and connect with his sister.
- Had him work alongside his dad no matter the task.
- Had him work alongside me no matter the task.
- Told him he shouldn’t date a girl he wouldn’t consider marrying.
- Expected him to put away clothes, unload the dishwasher, pick up after himself, and sweep his room when asked.
- Gave him equal chores along with his sister and vice versa.
- Took him to museums, tractor-pulls, nature walks and baseball games.
- Taught him to open the door for ladies both young and old.
- Let him play the sports he wanted to and allowed him to stop activities he decided he didn’t want to play.
- Was intentional about him spending time with his dad beginning at age thirteen.
- Talked with him about alcohol and our choices regarding it.
- Talked with him about sexual images in movies and photographs.
- Changed TV channels when inappropriate images were present in movies or TV shows.
- Read the lyrics to the songs he downloaded and listened to.
- Taught him why you leave a tip in a restaurant and how much is appropriate.
- Told him that listening to music with degrading lyrics about women was not an option.
- Went to his ballgames and music programs.
- Held my tongue when the coach grabbed his jersey and swore at him during a ballgame.
- Encouraged him after the game when the coach grabbed the jersey and swore at him.
- Allowed him to work things out with his sister and brothers when they fought.
- Listened to him when he told me to back-off.
- Apologized to him when I was too harsh or jumped to conclusions.
- Learned his way to do things was okay as long as he got the work done.
- Corrected him when he spoke disrespectfully to his dad.
- Corrected him when he spoke disrespectfully to me or his sister.
- Gave him opportunities to lead in the family.
- Gave him opportunities to serve others in the community and church.
- Had him spend time with his grandparents.
- Allowed him to have his first paid job at thirteen even though it required picking up trash at a weekly local flea market.
- Affirmed him when he made good decisions.
- Refrained from typing term papers for him even when he had a lot going on.
- Encouraged his dad to take just him and his brothers on outings with just “the guys.”
- Taught him to be responsible to do his own laundry.
- Taught him how to make his bed and change his own sheets.
- Had conversations with him about sex at appropriate ages.
- Picked him up from a friend’s house when he didn’t feel comfortable with what was happening at the sleep-over.
- Taught him self-control in small areas.
- Shared my own struggles with him when I was a teenager.
- Waited to buy our first gaming system until he was a master at individual play and independent reading.
- Told him if he wanted a gaming system, he’d have to pay for it.
- Refrained from giving him a smartphone unless he pays for it.
- Expected him to have high standards.
- Prayed with him at night-time because our best conversations were by his bedside in the dark.
- Took him on a road trip at age fourteen.
- Gave him the opportunity to fail.
- Gave him every opportunity to succeed.
- Allowed him to pursue his dream of teaching children with disabilities instead of deterring him to a more high-paying profession.
- Required him wake me up whenever he gets home at curfew time.
- Told him I love him and am proud of him.
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Thanks! My website is temporarily not working well because it crashed right before I left for a conference and am getting it updated soon. Thanks for your interest in my content! And for caring to let me know about the site.
Great list!
Thanks Jim