I’ve had to learn equanimity and self-control the hard way overcoming distorted thinking and behaviors from being bulimic in my teen and young adult years. My husband learned it naturally growing up on a dairy farm. There’s no room for reactions. You can develop these skills, too–they are included as one of the “secrets” to a compelling life in my upcoming release, “Uncomplicated.”

Here are five ways to develop self-control and equanimity:

Practice mindfulness and reflection. Set aside time each day to sit quietly, reflect on God’s attributes, and recognize your breath, nature, and surroundings. This can help train your mind to stay calm and focused.

Be aware of your triggers. Notice what situations tend to provoke strong emotional reactions in you. Then, make a plan to respond consciously instead of reacting impulsively.

Challenge catastrophic thinking. When thinking in exaggerated, dramatic terms, stop and reframe the situation more objectively. Ask yourself, “What’s the most likely outcome here?”

Control your reactions when you feel provoked; pause before responding. Take a few deep breaths. Then, choose your words carefully.

Let go of what you can’t control. Make peace with the fact that we can’t control everything. Focus your energy on responding skillfully to things within your influence.

The key is regular practice. Be patient and persistent in building your equanimity muscle over time.

For more strategies for a calmer and more controlled life, purchase Uncomplicated: Simple Secrets for a Compelling Life.” Better yet, join our launch team here!